How Miriam Quiambao’s faith helped her overcome her ‘biggest fall,’ insecurity

Miriam Quiambao. Image: Instagram/@miriamq888

When Miriam Quiambao-Roberto made a podium finish during the 1999 Miss Universe pageant, the entire country could barely catch its breath. The country’s third crown from arguably most prestigious beauty pageant in the world was within grasp.

Quiambao, however, faltered in the final question, and she finally settled with a 1st runner-up win, second to Mpule Kwelagobe of Botswana. Still, her feat was celebrated by the country. It was after all the closest the country had ever got since Margie Moran brought home the crown in 1973, or 15 years prior.

In 1999, Binibining Pilipinas Universe titleholder Janelle Bautista relinquished her title due to a citizenship issue, allowing Quiambao to take over and become the Philippine representative to the Miss Universe pageant. While she did not win the title, she was a recipient of several minor awards, including Miss Photogenic.

The dusky beauty was an epitome of grace and dignity, and she carried such confidence through the years as she mentored the beauty queens after her. Her victory was celebrated by everyone; she was the toast of the town, and was very in demand in film and television.

But what many did not know was that she, too, struggled with insecurity and her personal demons.

READ: Miss Universe Victoria Kjær Theilvig visits Palawan artisans who made her crown

In an interview with Pia Arcangel on “Power Talks,” Quiambao candidly revealed her past insecurities especially when her successors at the Miss Universe pageant would come close to surpassing her title.

“Dahil nga celebrated ‘yung win ko, diba na first runner-up ako after a long time. Tapos parang 10 years later, si Venus Raj naka-fourth place. And then much later pa mayroon mga puro naka first runner- up. There was some time na na-iinsecure ako kapag may lumalapit sa pagkapanalo ko,” she said.

(Because my win was celebrated, I was first runner-up after a long time. Then, like 10 years later, Venus Raj was fourth. And then much later, there were also other first runner-ups. There was a time when I felt insecure that someone was approaching my title.)

“Parang, ‘Oh no, mapapalitan na ako,’ So mayroong ganong level of insecurity at some point of my life. Pero during that time, lalo na nung mga time ni Venus Raj, bagong Christian ako noon at nakilala ko na si Jesus [things changed],” she said.

(It was like, ‘Oh no, I’m going to be replaced,’ So there was that level of insecurity at some point in my life. But during that time, especially during Venus Raj’s time, I was a new Christian and I met Jesus, things changed.)

The beauty queen-host, who is now based in Boracay, said being a Christian helped her become more accepting of her failures, and more magnanimous of her peers.

Quiambao underscored that in the past her identity was based on superficial things until she realized it shouldn’t be like that.

“Dati kasi ‘yung identity ko naka base sa pagiging celebrity, beauty queen. Kung gaano karami ang pera ko, gaano kalaki ang bahay ko, gaano ka expensive ‘yung gamit ko and in this digital age kung gaano karaming likes or followers sa social media [pero narealize ko] ‘yung identity ko must be based on how He sees me as His daughter,” she explained.

(My identity used to be based on being a celebrity, a beauty queen. No matter how much money I have, how big my house is, how expensive my stuff is, and in this digital age, how many likes or followers I have on social media [but I realized] my identity must be based on how He sees me as His daughter.)

‘Biggest metaphor’

Looking back, Quiambao said her infamous fall at the Miss Universe stage became the “biggest metaphor” of her life as she recalled the collapse of her first marriage to Italian businessman Claudio Rondinelli, and how her life had revolved around that marriage, like leaving a blossoming career in Manila to move to Hong Kong with him.

The beauty queen-host married Rondinelli in 2004, and they divorced two years later.

She recalled that while at the pageant, rising after her fall was easy, this was not the same with her first marriage. Her biggest fall was having to separate from then divorce her ex-husband, and she found it hard to find her purpose in life afterwards.

“That would have to be the biggest metaphor of falling and eventually rising kasi nung time talaga noon Pia, nung natagpuan ko ang sarili ko. Yung time talaga na yon, natagpuan ko ang sarili ko na wala akong purpose sa buhay e. Kulang nalang talaga na kunin ko yung sarili kong buhay. Kasi lahat ng dreams ko, plans for the future was attached to that marriage. When it was gone, I felt like I had no reason to live anymore,” she told Arcangel.

“Natagpuan ko nalang sarili ko umiiyak ako sa sofa ng magulang ko tapos nagpi pray ako, ‘Lord wala na akong dahilan para mabuhay, kunin mo na ako.’ There were days when di ako makatulog. Natatakot akong mamabatay. Gigising ako sa umaga, hindi ako makapag decide kung babangon ba ako, magto-toothbush ba ako, kakain ba ako, o matutulog nalang ako ulit? Kasi wala talagang dahilan para mabuhay,” she further said.

Behind the camera, she knew she was just trying to put up a face to the public, but when the lights are out and she’s at the privacy of her room, intrusive thoughts of taking her own life and depression crept back in. She even had to ask God: Where are you? You don’t even hear me.

Turnaround

Without her realizing it then, God was already working behind the scene to help her get back on her feet. She received an offer from GMA to host a public affairs program, and this allowed her to regain her footing.

Christian speaker Anthony Pangilinan introduced her to a Christian fellowship, and this was where she came to know about God.

“I surrendered myself to God. I read the bible and learned about Jesus more…. Dito na talaga nagsimula ang turnaround ng buhay ko. Nothing in my life was working that time, but the only change was when I surrendered my life to Jesus.

“Andaming nabago. Nagkaroon ako ng hope, naayos ang relationship ko sa parents ko. Nagpi pray ako, ‘Lord wala na akong savings, wala na akong trabaho. Will you open doors?’… Sabi ko, andami mong ginawa sa buhay ko. I found reason and purpose with God using the skills he has given me, with the skills in show business and hosting. So nabigyan ako ng purpose na hindi natapon yung bad experiences ko.

“I’m getting emotional because I feel that it’s really a privilege. I’m turning 50 this year, and God allowed me to live this long so that I can share the beauty and the story of transformation and redemption that he has done in my life and for other people,” she said.

From heartache to fondness

Quiambao said that when the time came for her to finally meet her first husband after several years, there was no longer bitterness and hurt, but forgiveness, fondness, and the gift of a fullness of life.

But God, it appeared, had been waiting to show her how she has grown stronger in faith, and healed her completely when she again met Rondinelli in Hong Kong after a decade, this time, she is happily married to her husband of 10 years, businessman and motivational speaker Eduardo “Ardy” Roberto Jr. The Italian businessman was also with his family.

Quiambao said she was checking herself for any sign of heartache, but there was none. Instead, she greeted him like an old friend, someone whom she would remember for always with fondness. She was reminded once again that even though they had to get separated and divorced, they once loved one another, but factors beyond their control are at work, and now, trusting God in this journey, she was all the better for it.

In 2013, she met Roberto, and they married a year later.  They have two children together, and another son from Roberto’s previous marriage.