MJ Lastimosa (left), Jude Bacalso and KaladKaren (right) | Image: Instagram/@mj_lastimosa, @kaladkaren
Beauty queen MJ Lastimosa and TV host KaladKaren are among the latest to give their two cents on the viral “misgendering” incident involving LGBTQ+ community member Jude Bacalso, who berated a member of a restaurant’s wait staff after he addressed her as “sir” while dining out in Cebu.
KaladKaren took to Facebook to affirm that it’s better to “educate than humiliate,” as she shared her experience of being misgendered.
“Sometimes, I still get called “sir,” but I know how to choose my battles. When this happens, most of the time, I just smile, be the bigger person, and let it pass,” she began in her caption.
“Sometimes I answer in jest, “Ikaw naman kuya/ate, ang ganda ko naman pong sir,” or sometimes I seriously ask them, “Kapag nakabihis babae pwede tawagin na lang ng “ma’am” or “miss,” if you’re not sure po pwede sila tanungin,” continued the TV5 news anchor.
KaladKaren underscored that not everyone is aware of how to use the right pronouns when addressing members of the LGBTQ+ community, and that there is no excuse for offending anyone.
“Oftentimes, people don’t mean to offend you. Nalilito lang talaga sila. Tinawag kang ma’am or sir because they want to show respect. If you don’t agree with how you are addressed, it is up to you to correct it. If you show them respect, respeto din ang ibabalik sa iyo. Pero syempre, may iba rin naman talagang gustong mambastos at ibang usapan na iyon,” she explained.
“Sadly, not everybody is 100% aware of how to use the right pronouns. As members of the community, I believe it is our responsibility to educate others about this. We have to let them understand the importance of using the right pronouns for every SOGIE. But educate properly. People commit mistakes; I do too,” added the TV anchor.
Meanwhile, Lastimosa stressed that it’s important to be kind in times like this: “Marecourse natatawag din akong sir minsan. I think natataranta kasi sila minsan, not that they don’t know better. Let’s extend kindness a little more,” she wrote on X (formerly Twitter).
On the other hand, Aiko Melendez emphasized that no way should someone who was offended react violently, especially if the person who made the mistake has already asked for an apology.
“Para sa akin kung ako man sakali ay matawag ng sir, mam, or ano pa yan. Hindi ako magrereact violently, kasi ang titles naman are all temporary. So mas mahalaga sa akin na kung nagkamali ang isang tao at nag sorry naman ok na ako dun. Reacting in a ballistic way is too much,” she stressed.
Meanwhile, showbiz vlogger Ogie Diaz and actress Rosanna Roces expressed their reactions by bluntly blasting Bacalso.
“Ang madilim na katotohanan ay gusto mo tanggapin ka ng mga nakapaligid sa yo na Babae ka.. Eh hindi mo nga matanggap sa sarili mo na panget na Lalake ka ungas!” argued Roces.
“Gusto mo maging proud ang LGBTQIA+ community sayo, paano? Itsura mo lang ata nagbago, sana, dinamay mo na rin pati pagkatao mo para mabitbit mo kahit saan ka dumayo,” said Diaz.
Bacalso sparked online outrage after a netizen detailed in a social media post that the Cebu-based personality reprimanded a server by letting him stand for two hours as he interrogated him for addressing her as “sir.”