Kelvin Miranda. Image: Instagram/@iamkelvinmiranda
Kelvin Miranda opened up about his mental health struggles, as well as trauma as a child abuse victim in a recent interview with Toni Gonzaga.
In the interview, the Kapuso actor revealed that he has been diagnosed with bipolar I, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), dyslexia, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), on top of the abuse he suffered as a child. All these, he said, took a toll on his mental health.
Miranda said that he initially didn’t want to enter showbiz but eventually gave in at a young age out of necessity. After his father’s bout with brain aneurysm and his mother losing her job, he stepped in as the family’s breadwinner where he took on many jobs, including going on auditions for various productions.
“Ayoko rin siya minsan kasi nakakasira siya sa mental health ko. Kasi sinabi rin na makakasama siya for me dahil sa disorder ko. ‘Yun din ang pinaka ayaw ko once na na-trigger na ako. Nagkakaroon ako ng episodes,” Miranda said, noting how being a celebrity affected him.
(I don’t enjoy the celebrity life at times because it affects my mental health. It was also mentioned to me that it triggers my disorders. That’s what I hate about being triggered. I have episodes.)
When asked what urged him to get a diagnosis, Miranda said it started after he worked on the show “The Lost Recipe” where he took his “arrogant and perfectionist” character too seriously, almost to the point where it affected his daily life.
“Feeling ko, ako ‘yung naging character. Nadadala ko siya sa bahay. Nangyari siya sa’kin and kapag natutulog ako, nagigising ako nang may nagsasabi ng cut. Naghahanap ako ng camera… Tapos nagbebreak down ako habang nagdadrive,” he said of his many episodes. He also shared that he sought diagnosis two times since he needed a “second opinion.”
(I felt that I became the character. I carried it at home. What happens to me when I sleep is that I wake up hearing “cut.” I end up looking for a camera. And I also broke down while driving.)
READ: Why Kira Balinger didn’t talk to Kelvin Miranda for two years
When asked about the cause of his diagnosis, Miranda revealed that he was abused as a child although he opted to remain mum on the details.
“Naabuso din kasi po ako noong bata ako. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko makakalimutan. Eight or nine years old ako n’un. Every time, pinapaalala ko ‘yung sarili ko, lagi ko siyang naririnig sa utak ko kahit ayoko silang marinig,” he said without mentioning what kind of abuse he suffered.
(I was abused as a child. I don’t know how to forget it, I was eight or nine years old. Every time, I would remember those incidents. I would always hear it in my head even if I didn’t want to.)
The actor became emotional at one point, saying he still struggles with the thought of always being seen as the bad guy, but had since tried to get himself back on track through meditation, prayers, and avoiding social media.
“Kahit na anong ginawa mong mabuti, para sa kanila never ka naging mabuting tao. Kahit na marami ka rin sinakripisyo. Kasi parang nakikita lang ng tao ‘yung mali eh. Hindi nila nakita ‘yung kung paano ka naging mabuting tao para sa kanila, kung ano ‘yung ginawa mo para magawa mo ‘yung bagay na iyon sa ikabubuti nila.” he said.
“Hindi nila makikita, hindi nila ma-appreciate, eh. Hindi ko sinasabi ako ‘yung pinakamabuting tao. Pero hindi ako masamang tao, alam ko po iyon,” he continued.
(Even if I do something good, you would never be a good person to them. Even if you sacrificed so much. Because people would always focus on the wrong. They don’t realize how you changed for the better, and how you did certain things for their own good. They don’t see it. They don’t appreciate it. I don’t consider myself as the best person. But I know that I’m not a bad person.)
Miranda is the lead in the new film “Chances Are, You and I” with Kapamilya actress Kira Balinger, which centers around death.
He is also cast as one of the leads in the upcoming fantasy series “Sang’gre” with Bianca Umali, Angel Guardian, and Faith Da Silva.
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