Tom Rodriguez admitted mulling self-harm after breakup with Carla Abellana

(From left) Tom Rodriguez and Carla Abellana. Images: Instagram/@fasttalkgma, Instagram/@carlaangeline

Tom Rodriguez admitted that the breakdown of his marriage with Carla Abellana had taken him to a “dark” place that he had contemplated hurting himself in the process.

Rodriguez confessed in a “Fast Talk with Boy Abunda” interview that the end of his marriage with his ex-wife brought him into despair that pained even his mother, who witnessed seeing him struggling with a “lot of crying.”

“There was a time nagtago ako. I would hide away until eventually, you go through the [darkness] of your soul and then, you’re able to face your loved ones, face yourself in the mirror, face your family, and then you start opening up,” he said.

The actor likened his darkest moment to “starting at the negative” where he contemplated doing “something to [himself]” that couldn’t be taken back. “I don’t know if I’m allowed to say this, but there were times when it was really dark. I thought I was going to do something to myself that’s irreversible.”

When asked by talk show host Boy Abunda if Rodriguez meant “suicide,” the actor said he “was there” at that point.

“I was there. But then a flash in my mind was, what will my nephews think? If they go through hardships and tough times? If Tito Thomas was able to do this, I can do it too. I thought I owed them more than that and I owe my younger self that too,” he said.

The Kapuso star eventually realized that a lot of things “disappearing” made him realize that he still had a lot “to be grateful for” before having the strength to “start again.”

When Abunda asked Rodriguez to speak to his “younger self,” he said: “I’m proud of him and I hope he’s proud of me too.”

“If we can go through the darkest moment in our lives and find that inner strength and resilience, and mahanap mo ang lakas ng loob bumangon, it’s something to be proud of… You can go through the hardest as long as you find that integrity within yourself again, that trust, that love for yourself again, and those you matter the most to you,” he added.

Wishing Carla well

Rodriguez further clarified that he’s not blaming anyone for the dark moment in his life while pointing out that he was “complacent” at some point in his life.

“Whatever happened in my life, I was also complacent in it. I’ve taken accountability and responsibility for that and lahat kayo, may kanya-kanyang battles. Kaya I wouldn’t say it’s just me. It happens to everyone,” he said.

Despite this, he “wished” that Abellana is doing well no matter how things ended between them. “I really wish her well. Every one of us deserves happiness and I really wish that for her,” he said.

Rodriguez and Abellana tied the knot in October 2021 but separated after three months. The actor confirmed their divorce in June 2022. The actress, on the other hand, still awaits the recognition of their divorce in the Philippines.