Heart Evangelista. Image: screengrab from YouTube/Love Marie Escudero
Heart Evangelista broke down in tears as she opened up about the “damage” caused to her by people she was once close to, admitting she feels the need to be “perfect” because they “paint [her] as a bad person.”
The actress-fashion personality documented her Singapore trip in 2023 through a vlog released on her YouTube channel last Thursday, Jan. 25.
During her preparation for one of the events she attended, Evangelista spoke to her team and recalled being with people who made her feel that she was a “toxic” person.
“In the past, whenever I get problems, like personal problems, I couldn’t even be in a bad mood because they would make me feel like I’m so toxic,” she said, without naming anyone in particular.
“So [now], I try to be happy even if I have my own problems; I try not to be selfish, but sometimes I’m only human and I’m really tired,” she continued as her voice broke from crying. “I’m really tired of overthinking. I’m tired of thinking about other people—I hate it.”
Evangelista stressed that she tried to be bubbly to “fight” her problems, but at the same time, she felt she deserved to be in such a state because she believed she was “problematic and toxic to everyone.”
One of Evangelista’s staff then told her, “We’re sorry that you feel that way but then like, [these people] are gone,” to which Evangelista replied, “I know, they’re gone.”
“But because parang they paint you like you’re such a bad person… So parang you have to be extra perfect to people around you,” she added, noting how those people “really destroyed [her] inner joy.”
The fashion personality seemed to have hinted as well that those who wronged her work in the same field as hers.
“I’m still struggling because I wish I wouldn’t have to see them, but parang dinumihan nila ‘yung part ng area kung saan ako nagta-trabaho, na nandyan sila,” she stated. “Of course, I’ll get over it but I guess [it’s because I’m] with them for such a long time.”
(I’m still struggling because I wish I wouldn’t have to see them, but I feel like they ruined a part of an area where I work by being there. Of course, I’ll get over it but I guess [it’s because I’m] with them for such a long time.)
“Meron din akong inner debate na if I have the power to choose—kasi merong mga times na tumatapang ako, pero ang problem ko don is [tinatanong ko ‘yung sarili ko], ‘Masama ba akong tao?’ [Kasi] hindi naman ako ganito dati e, tapos parang ngayon kailangan ko maging masamang tao,” she said.
(I also have an inner debate about having the power to choose—because there are times when I get assertive, but at the same time I would ask myself, “Am I a bad person?” Because I was not like this before, and now I feel like I have to be a bad person.)
Evangelista further disclosed that one of the people she was referring to had recently taken out all of their collaborations, which made her question herself, “Gano’n ba ako kasama?” (Am I really that bad?)
“‘Yung damage nila sa akin, nando’n ako. It’s not anymore about them and what they do now, it’s the damage [that’s still here]… Wala pa ako [sa forgiveness],” she admitted.
(I’m currently living with the damage they caused me. It’s not about them anymore and what they do now, but it’s the damage that’s still here with me. I have yet to forgive them.)
Evangelista opted not to reveal who she was referring to, although it can be noted that the actress earlier had a falling-out with her former makeup artists Jeck Aguilar and Justin Louise Soriano.
The falling-out allegedly happened after Evangelista fired the two for supposedly “maxing out” her credit card and spending her money. The actress, however, has yet to confirm or deny these claims as of this writing.
Meanwhile, Aguilar and Soriano—who are now part of actress-beauty queen Pia Wurtzbach’s glam team—were unable to fly to Dubai earlier for allegedly having a “do not board” order from Dubai airport.