Heart Evangelista. Image: screengrab from YouTube/Love Marie Escudero
After her recent falling-out with her previous glam team, Heart Evangelista likened a friendship breakup to having written all her thoughts in a diary, which, after some time, was “stolen” from her.
The actress-fashion personality opened up on why she considers friendship breakups more hurtful than romantic breakups, through a YouTube vlog with her husband, Sen. Francis “Chiz” Escudero, on Monday, Aug. 21.
The vlog—which is about “love, marriage, friendship and how to deal with heartbreak”—is the couple’s first episode in their “Adulting with Heart and Chiz” series after they have gone through a rough patch in their marriage.
“Ako, parang mas nasaktan ako sa friendship [breakups],” Evangelista admitted after Escudero said that for him, romantic and friendship breakups hurt “at the same level.”
“Kahit sa past ko, I’m always very clingy to my friends because I don’t have a lot of friends,” she continued, saying she has always felt like an “outsider” and “misunderstood.” “So whenever I had just like key people, I literally would tell them that I couldn’t live without them, although [I feel] that was where I went wrong. Because I should have gone to you instead of them.”
Evangelista noted that she treats her friends like family and that she shows them the good and the bad because she is “confident that they saw [her] heart first.”
“It’s painful because it’s like I wrote all my thoughts on a diary and they just stole it,” Evangelista lamented. “For me, friendships are hard.”
Evangelista further said that she does not believe in outgrowing people, adding that friendships and romantic relationships would work if there is communication between individuals.
“But even the relatives I don’t talk to or friends that I don’t talk to, I’ll always love them,” she said. “I think, again, I go back to maybe I’m a lemon or maybe I’m stupid, but I refuse to see the bad times especially if they weren’t a lot. I will stick and fight for the good memories that I have.”
When asked how she deals with “being betrayed by friends,” the actress admitted: “I don’t even have an answer to that. I’m still in the process of it all. I’m just living, as we speak.”
‘Can’t live without’ Escudero
In the vlog, Evangelista and Escudero also talked about “what they recently went through,” which the actress described as a “crime” she cannot pinpoint. However, the couple opted not to disclose any specific reasons behind the recent hurdle in their relationship.
“I really feel like I did lose myself. I lost myself because I had so many voices in my life that I allowed to mold me in a certain way,” Evangelista explained.
“I’m not blaming them; I think I blame also myself because I’m gullible, but I take all the responsibility,” she added, without naming anyone in particular. “It was still me who pulled the trigger in the end, you know? But they helped me a lot dig my grave.”
Evangelista declared that she is now in a “calmer place” and stressed that she “can’t live without” her husband who, for his part, said he never thought of giving up on their marriage.
“I hated you for the wrong reasons. I think I looked at you as the enemy when you were actually my guardian angel the whole time,” she told the senator. “In the end, you’re still here. So, wow.”
Evangelista then turned emotional as she opened up on how she prays for forgiveness for the things she “didn’t understand and reacted so abruptly towards.”
“I always pray that just as long as I have my family, I’m OK. Because at the end of the day, when Chiz and I spoke after a long time, he said that I didn’t need to say anything because he knew my heart.”
“My number one prayer is that take everything away, just don’t take my family away. Give them good health, protect them, ‘yun lang,” she continued as she wiped the tears on her cheeks. “Family first—now I know that.” /ra