Sheryn Regis
At first listen, the hit ballad “Gusto Ko Nang Bumitaw” registers as a torch song about a tormented person on the verge of leaving a love gone cold.
It’s a valid, if obvious, interpretation. But the song, cowritten and originally recorded by Sheryn Regis, was actually inspired by an entirely different subject: the singer’s relationship with herself and her inner struggles with her sexual identity.
“The song goes, ‘Umiiyak gabi-gabi / Walang tinig na naririnig / Nakikipaglaban sa digmaan na talunan / Hanggang Kailan / Talo na, pagod na.’ I was compelled to write that down on my journal because I was really tired. It was a battle within myself,” she said at a recent press conference for her upcoming 20th anniversary concert, “All Out.”
For years, Sheryn, who came out as a lesbian two years ago, would find herself questioning who she truly was behind the name she had established in the music industry.
“Sino ka ba? Why are you denying yourself? I just wanted to let go. Sometimes, I look at myself in the mirror. What I see is Sheryn Regis. But what if I strip that off? Who am I?” the 43-year-old singer said. “It was really tough.”
Sheryn realized that she was attracted to women when she was 14. She always wanted to be around the pretty girls in school, she recalled, laughing.
But she had to suppress that, mostly because of her Catholic upbringing. She was afraid that her family and the people around her wouldn’t accept her. And when she entered show biz in 2003, after finishing first runner-up in “Star In a Million,” Sheryn further retreated into herself for fear of being found out.
“If you notice, I used to be timid at events and press conferences. I rarely talked. That’s because I was hiding something. I hid a lot of things and I was worried I might slip. I was worried I would give a look or do something that might give off a different meaning. It was hard hiding something inside you. It affects your whole being,” she said.
So while she knew that coming out could potentially harm her career, Sheryn mustered up the courage to finally do it.
“I wished and prayed that by the time I reach 40, I would have already emerged from my cocoon like a butterfly,” she said. “But of course, I did have some doubts—that my career would suffer, that my family and relatives would disown me. But I knew I had to face my fears and stand by my decision,” she said, adding that her cancer scare in 2016 also played a role in her coming out.
“That part of my life inspired me to cherish life and the people around me more,” added the singer, who was diagnosed with stage 2 thyroid cancer and underwent complete thyroidectomy.
Family’s acceptance
Thankfully, things turned out better than she expected. She’s now cancer-free. Yes, there were some who turned their back on her, and bashers on social media condemned her. But for Sheryn, all that mattered was her family’s acceptance. “Even if other people don’t support me, I’m good as long as my family is there for me,” she said.
Sheryn is currently in a romantic relationship with entrepreneur Mel de Guia. And it’s liberating, she said, that she can now freely talk about her love life. “I’m now flaunting it because I know my family’s support is there. I have a happy heart. Expressing myself is expressing my truth, heart and purpose in life,” she said.
It was her courage that ultimately inspired Sweety, Sheryn’s 20-year-old daughter with ex-husband Earl Echiverri, to come out as bisexual. “There was a time when she cut her hair, dressed like a boy and had a girlfriend. After that, she wanted to be a girly girl and she had a boyfriend. And we just let her be,” she related. After all, Sweety’s struggle was Sheryn’s struggle, too. What advice can she give to parents who have a queer kid? “It can take time to understand or accept your child, because you might feel like it has something to do with your parenting. But it doesn’t,” she pointed out.
“You may have a hard time at first but accept your child. Because you don’t know how your child is struggling,” she said. “Just like me. My parents didn’t know how much I struggled.”
Intimate show
But if there is anything positive she can glean from her experience, it’s that suppressing her identity, somehow, forced her to channel her energy into her singing.
“While I couldn’t address what was bugging me emotionally, I got to focus on my craft. And I’m happy there were opportunities for me to prosper through shows and recording theme songs for teleseryes,” said Sheryn, who lent her voice to such soap operas as “Marina,” “Krystala” and “Kampanerang Kuba.”
In “All Out,” which will be held July 8 at Music Museum (visit www.ticketworld.com.ph), Sheryn is expected to perform songs that will showcase her vocal power and range, like her hit cover of Wendy Moten’s “Come In Out of the Rain.” She wants to prove that she can still hit the high notes.
“Hindi mawawala ang birit. I thought I would never be able to sing again. Doctors say my voice could change. But it’s a miracle. I think my vocal range became even wider. And I can access different placements easily. I want to show that I can still do it. Kayang-kaya pa,” said Sheryn.
Sheryn also plans to share with her fans some “untold stories” about her life and career. “It’s going to be an intimate show where I can talk and connect with people,” she said.
Twenty years in the industry is no small feat. That she’s still here singing, she said, is something to be grateful for. “I didn’t really pray for fame or wealth. I just prayed for a lasting career. I just wanted to sing for the love of singing.” INQ