Vilma Santos (left) and Christopher de Leon
Just because you’re married doesn’t necessarily mean that you always have to bare everything to your spouse. Leave a little mystery, a little something to yourself, said Vilma Santos. That’s one secret to a lasting marriage.
“There should still be some mystery to make the relationship exciting,” the acclaimed actress-politician, who has been married to House deputy speaker Ralph Recto for 31 years, said at a press conference for her comeback movie, the romantic drama “When I Met You in Tokyo.”
For instance, your spouse doesn’t really need to see you use the bathroom or toilet. “We don’t go there at the same time. You don’t expose yourself in such an unflattering situation. Even if you’re married, you don’t expose yourself like that. There are things that are meant to be kept private,” Vilma pointed out. ‘‘Di magandang tignan.’”
“I don’t like that,” she said. “Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you have to be comfortable with that. ‘Di ko kinasanayan.”
Self-respect
For Vilma, something as simple as that is already a form of self-respect. “You have to take care of yourself… Respeto mo na sa sarili ‘yun. When you respect yourself, your partner will feel that. And then everything follows. You learn to give, love, understand,” she said.
“But that’s just me,” Vilma added. “These are some of the things I believe in. And I guess they’re working because my relationship has lasted for as long as it has.”
Her leading man, Christopher de Leon, on the other hand, believes in keeping things romantic. You can’t get complacent, he said.
“Even if you’re older, the guy should always be aware of his wife’s needs in terms of romance. Every so often, you give her flowers… you ask her out on a date. And when you go on a date, you can’t sit there and not talk,” said the seasoned actor, who has been with Sandy Andolong for 43 years—21 of which as a married couple.
“You still have to be funny and creative in how you express your romantic side,” he added. “You have to be adventurous, exciting. Those are some of the things that make the relationship solid.” INQ