Mylene, Nikki, Agot weigh in on parents treating their children as ‘investments’

From left: Agot Isidro, Nikki Valdez and Mylene Dizon

Should parents treat their children as “investments”?

This topic, which is subject of an online debate, was discussed at a recent media conference for the Metro Manila Film Festival entry “Family Matters.”

Taking care of our parents out of love or as a responsibility is one thing, Mylene Dizon said, but counting the things parents think their children owe them is another.

“We have an obligation to take care of our parents because they’re our parents. It’s something we do out of love or want. But when we treat children as investment for our future, then that’s wrong—super wrong. That’s not their responsibility,” she said.

“Hindi ako maniningil. I wont’ say, ‘Hey, I raised you—these are all the things that you have to pay back,’” added Mylene, who has two children with her partner, Jason Webb. “They can either take care of me, or pay it forward by taking care of their own families. Or other people.”

For writer Mel Mendoza-del Rosario, it’s as simple as this: Love begets love.

“If our parents show us love then it’s hard not to reciprocate that with love. My mother had a stroke and I have been taking care of her since I was 13. And that’s really out of love,” she said. “However, there are indeed some people who use their children in hopes of having a better life.”

Agot Isidro doesn’t have children of her own, but loves taking care of her family. “I don’t have kids, so I have to be independent … But I’m big on taking care of my family—my siblings, nephews and nieces—now that our parents are no longer with us. But I do that without expecting anything in return. I don’t think that way,” she said.

Too much information

Another subject discussed at the same press event was the growing tendency of almost everyone to express sentiments or air opinions on just about anything on social media. It allows us to quickly and easily share information with others—too much information, in fact, at times.

These days, it’s not really uncommon to come across people divulging secrets and private family matters or airing dirty laundry on the internet. To each his own, Mylene, Agot, and Nikki Valdez pointed out. But if they could have it their way, they would always choose to settle such issues behind closed doors.

“That’s their choice. If they want to take to social media their problems for whatever reason. Walang basagan ng trip. We adults must be ready for the consequences—though we don’t always know what they are,” Mylene said.

“I don’t want to share whatever that goes on in my family with the public. I prefer to fix and settle things privately,” she added.

Nikki isn’t also a fan of making a spectacle out of personal issues. But she surmised that some people resort to that because they don’t have an outlet.

“I don’t want to judge people who are compelled to do something like; perhaps they don’t have an outlet or a diversion. Maybe it’s a way for them to cope or solve the problem. Maybe they’re able to find solutions by doing that,” she said.

But still, going straight to the person we have an issue with, she said, seems a more foolproof approach. “Back when we didn’t have social media, we would go to the person. Why can’t we do that now. But it’s our reality now—we try to get validation from the people we don’t know instead of talking to the person,” she said.

“The same goes for other things, too. These days, when you find a strand of hair in your food, some people—instead of talking to the staff—would rather make a post or vlog about it first,” she added. “Isn’t that tiring?”

Agot, meanwhile, pointed out that on social media, one’s problems are another’s source of entertainment.

“I think it’s OK to air grievances in the public sphere if it can help. But we have to remember that these big problems you have … that hurt you …. These are nothing but entertainment for some people. They become fodder for gossip,” she said. INQ