Actress’ ‘gimmick’ doesn’t get a go signal from strict director

When veteran Sexy Comedienne (SC) isn’t acting in teleseryes, she can also be seen performing in out-of-town shows that allow her to earn extra bucks. Problem is, SC doesn’t really have much to offer when she isn’t acting onscreen, often as a baddie or an aging comic, especially when she’s in front of a live audience, who expects to be entertained.

In such situations, SC’s go-to gimmick involves performing a sexy number while she lip-synchs to a prerecorded song!

But years ago, SC’s “performing crutch” hit a snag when she joined a performing troupe made up mostly of theater actors during an out-of-town show in the south directed by Terror Director (TD), who doesn’t suffer fools gladly.

SC’s “problem” immediately became apparent when she asked for a microphone while rehearsing her prerecorded number during blocking and soundcheck. SC couldn’t hide the look of dismay on her face when TD refused to let her hold the mic.

But TD thought that, with SC holding a microphone, it looked like SC was fooling the audience that she was actually singing live, and TD thought it would be unfair to the real singers and other theater-trained performers in the group.

In the end, SC looked funny singing onstage without a microphone. And she had to be extra “kwela” so the audience wouldn’t wonder where her microphone was.

TOP OF THE TABLOIDS

This week’s top show biz news from the tabloids (and why we are moved, if we are moved):

• Heart Evangelista excited nang bumili ng mga furniture para sa nakuhang apartment sa Paris: ‘I’ll be there a lot because…’ (It’s what Heart isn’t” saying that we find intriguing…)

Barbie Forteza (left) and Jak Roberto

• Barbie Forteza, Jak Roberto napag-uusapan na ang kasal: Pero hindi naman kami nagmamadali! (Don’t worry. Kami rin, hindi.)

• Kelvin Miranda nagpakatotoo lang: Ang ideal woman para sa akin ay hindi nag-e-exist… no one’s perfect, mapalalaki at mapababae. (Point very well taken, Kelvin. Next?)

• Dina Bonnevie dinepensahan ng netizens laban kay Alex Gonzaga: ‘Own up to your mistake.’ (Many years later, she’s still making up excuses for her unexcused tardiness.)

Jolina Magdangal (left) and Marvin Agustin

• Jolina Magdangal, Marvin Agustin nag-foodtrip sa Singapore, netizens kinilig: “The best love team in the ’90s.” (Throwback kung throwback.)

• Rachel Alejandro umaming adik sa trabaho kaya ayaw magka-baby: ‘Yung priority talaga is work. (Her body, her choice.)

BB Gandanghari (left) with Mom Eva

• BB Gandanghari bumalik na ng Pinas matapos ang 7 na taon, emosyonal nang makita ang kanyang Mama Eva. (Her heart belongs to Mommy.)

• Mylene Dizon walang balak gawing retirement fund ang mga anak: Hindi ako maniningil. (Stage mothers, are you listening? Hello? Hello…?)

• Kiray Celis sa biglang pagpanaw ni Jovit Baldivino: Pinagbawalan na pala siyang kumanta, pero may mga nag-request kaya ginawa niya… (For others, singing is life itself. Our condolences.)