Kit Thompson (left) and Ana Jalandoni
“In all court cases, it’s always hard for the victim. You really feel the stigma… You will be made to feel like you’re stupid for allowing yourself to be … [a victim]. I can only imagine how hard it will be for her (Ana Jalandoni). But for justice to be served, she really has to present the facts no matter how painful.”
Thus stated Dr. Ver Reyes, a licensed psychologist and psychometrician, when Inquirer Entertainment sought her expert opinion on Jalandoni’s physical abuse case against actor Kit Thompson.
In a press conference a week after the incident, Jalandoni, Thompson’s girlfriend of four months, narrated how she was beaten up by the actor inside a hotel room in Tagaytay City.
“I suggest that she (Jalandoni) seeks professional help when she feels that she already lacks the mental toughness to deal with it,” Reyes advised. “This is the only way for her to overcome whatever adversity she is going through. Being a celebrity shouldn’t prevent a person from seeking justice. She has to be brave because this could happen again—to her or to others.”
As for Thompson, Reyes encouraged people to “not judge him so easily. If accusations thrown at him were true, then he should be held liable. Also, this doesn’t mean a person cannot change. It’s the same thing with drug users. You have to look at them differently. There are more humane ways for them to be rehabilitated in order to become better persons.”
Cases filed
Two counts of violation of Republic Act No. 9262, or the Anti-Violence Against Women and their Children Act of 2004, were filed against Thompson on March 18. Jalandoni’s team of legal counsel, headed by Faye Singson, believes the public prosecutor should also file two more cases against Thompson: frustrated homicide and serious illegal detention.
At a recent press conference, Jalandoni revealed that even before the incident, Thompson had admitted to having “anger problems,” and that he has already hurt her in one past incident.
Inquirer Entertainment asked Reyes to explain anger as a psychological disorder and to help identify its signs and symptoms.
“When it comes to romantic relationships involving high-profile people, the dynamics are different. Normal individuals like us still have the luxury of really getting to know other people in certain situations. Perhaps, it’s harder for them because they are actors, and they’re different in public compared to when they’re behind the camera. The lesson we can learn from this, regardless of status, is that you need to be mindful. Always protect yourself. Know what your standards are as a person,” she began.
Dr. Ver Reyes
“Immediately report to authorities any incident of physical abuse. Now, this can also be problematic to popular personalities. For us, it’s easier to report because what happens to us will not always be publicized and turned into a scandal. The pressure for them is greater because a lot of attention will be focused on them,” said Reyes, who is also chair of the Psychological Association of the Philippines’ Teaching Psychology Special Interest Group.
Explaining anger
“In fact, there will be those who will refer to this as a mere publicity stunt, that the girl is just promoting an upcoming movie. It’s hard for her because she’s the one who got hurt but she’s also the one being blamed for what happened to her. Let’s be very understanding of other people’s situations. It’s not good to judge,” Reyes pointed out.
To explain anger as a psychological disorder, Reyes began by pointing out that “being angry is a normal emotion. All of us are capable of feeling anger. When you feel offended, hurt, or feel that your perception of an incident didn’t go with your expectations, you should acknowledge it. That should be our premise when tackling the issue.”
Reyes then cited the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders, which is what psychologists use to determine whether or not a particular behavior is already an abnormality. “Anger becomes problematic when it falls under any of what we call the four Ds: distress, deviance, dysfunction, and danger,” she said.
For this particular kind of “problematic” relationship, Reyes said doctors would often advise their patients/clients to “take note of the red flags that you see. When someone hurts you and you feel you’re in danger, immediately put a stop to it. This is because there are also studies that show the other partner, either male or female, is manipulated to stay in a toxic relationship. The other will make you believe you got physically abused because you did something wrong,” Reyes warned. INQ