HOST: You have such a busy schedule—so many accomplishments! Paano mo mina-manage ang time mo?
Guest: Oh, it’s easy—gumagawa po ako ng time management!
(Wow, thank you, ha?)
* * *
Host: How did your last concert do? Did many people watch?
Guest: Oh, it was a sold-out!
(Do tell!)
* * *
Host: I heard you were sick. Are you OK now?
Guest: Yes, I’m OK. (Coughs)
Host: Are you sure? Hindi na maganda ang ubo mo, ha?
(Hmmm, bago ’yan, a—may ubo palang maganda?)
Exposé
Host: Your recent exposé has been questioned by some people. What can you say to assure them that you’re telling the truth?
Guest: All I can assure is, my sources are all very liable.
(Oops, now we’re even more worried!)
* * *
Host: What is your dream and ambition in the fashion world?
Guest: I want to be a famous international runaway model!
(What a difference an extra letter makes!)
* * *
Host: What months are you busiest in your business?
Guest: July ang peakest month of the year namin.
(Peakest month? Please translate.)
* * *
Host: What do we need to do to improve our economy?
Guest: We should all be more coinscious about the stock market.
(Not to mention being conscious about those extra—coins!)
* * *
Host: What about people who are dieting, what can you advise them?
Guest: Eat only what is not heavy or fatting!
(Fatting? Burp!)
* * *
Host: Where do you practice your songs—at home?
Guest: Yes, I practice while my mom looks and watches the clothes.
(While they wash themselves?)
* * *
Host: Are you excited about your new movie?
Guest: Yes, I’m so excited—because it’s my first role as a comedy!
(So, why aren’t we laughing?)