Birthday salivation, periodic dreams and other boob-tube booboos
SOME readers have asked for “an appropriate Easter fix” of smiles and chuckles. Happy to oblige!:
* * *
Host: What will you and your family do on Holy Week?
Guest: We will go to the beach for swimming—and, kung kaya namin, fasting.
(—Sana nga, kaya niyo!)
* * *
Host: Invite them to your show, why don’t you?
Guest: Oh, yes, please buy tickets to our show, kahit medyo sold out na.
(Ah, huwag na lang kaya?)
* * *
Host: Now that you’re a dad, what has changed in your plans for the future?
Guest: Now, I’m more mature and responsible, I just want to help my son sure his future!
(Are you—sure?)
* * *
Host: How do you save money in this hard economy?
Guest: Mahilig akong makatipid by the way na bumibili ako ng appliances na bago pero segunda mano.
(Wow, galing mo, ha?)
* * *
Host: Did you always want to be a star?
Guest: I don’t say always, but it was a periodic dream.
(Do tell!)
* * *
Host: How’s your girlfriend now?
Guest: She’s great! She’s salivating her birthday this week. Happy birthday, hon!
(—And, salivate away!)
* * *
Host: Talk to us about your brother—how was he as you were growing up?
Guest: Lagi niya akong binubugbog—you know, brotherly stuff.
(No comment!)
* * *
Host: How do you feel about your movie getting into an international film festival?
Guest: Siyempre masaya, kasi ’pag sinabing international, sina Leonardo DiCaprio, you know, wow!
(—Ah, let’s not get carried away, shall we?)
* * *
Host: How much do you love your girlfriend?
Guest: I’m hand over hills in love with her!
(That much, huh?)
* * *
Host: How many stores do you have now?
Guest: We have a national-wide chain coverage now, and even other national!
(Ano raw?)
* * *
Host: Tell us about your next show.
Guest: It’s something different, with a lot of comedy, for a change.
Host: Will you be doing standup, slapstick?
Guest: Yes, as a matter of that!
(—As a matter of—what?)
