Kiss-and-tell matinee idol’s conquests: True stories or tall tales?

Before Garrulous Enchanter (GE) became part of one of the most successful local onscreen love teams, he used to take pride in sharing stories of his sexual conquests with anyone who would listen.

GE was so proud of his exploits that these became the stories he told his coactors whenever they would join him in drinking sessions.

Talk about kiss-and-tell!

In a state of stupor, GE would recite the names of the women he had spent the night with in his condo, including this particular female, Credulous Kitten (CK), who is a couple of years older than him.

Some of his coactors found this hard to believe, though, since CK has a public image that’s pleasant and a little old-fashioned. So the story that she engaged in casual sex seemed out of character.

We really hope that GE has already changed his ways now that he is in a steady relationship with Sweet Lady (SL). After all, SL is one of the most endearing personalities in the industry.

TOP OF THE TABLOIDS

This week’s top show biz news in the Inquirer tabloid Bandera (and why we are moved, if we are moved)

•Matteo Guidicelli, Derek Ramsay, Melai Cantiveros tinawag na superhero ng Taal victims: Sila ang tunay na bayani. (Heroes come in different forms, faces and sizes.)

•Hiling kay Heart Evangelista: Tulungan ang mga hayop sa Batangas! (Do they want her to give away some of her Vuittons and Louboutins for charity…?)

•Popsters bibida sa ‘Tala para sa Taal’ flash mob; kikitain ido-donate sa Batangas. (Will they do their flash mob in Taal? Now that will be explosive.)

•Shooting ng ‘Malvar’ ni Sen. Manny Pacquiao apektado ng Taal eruption; JMV Films namigay ng face mask. (Are lava and ashes part of the movie’s “props”?)

•Ai-Ai delas Alas pumayag magninang sa binyagang bayan sa Quiapo! (Ang tanging ina turned into a universal ninang.)

•Dapat na nga bang bawiin kay Vice Ganda ang titulong “Unkabogable Star”? (Malamang.)

•ABS-CBN wagi sa rating; Coco Martin at Angel Locsin tinaguriang Primetime King and Queen 2019. (Aren’t they done with these silly titles…?)

•Angel iboboto ng madlang pipol kapag tumakbong senador. (She doesn’t even have to run … she can now walk all the way to a senate seat.)

•Kiray Celis virgin na virgin pa rin: Hindi porke may jowa ka ay gagawin n’yo na ’yun! (Nothing wrong with jackstones and taguan, right?)

•Torture kay Yeng Constantino ang cyberlibel case na isinampa ng doktor sa Siargao! (Entitlement has its drawbacks.)

•Pia Wurtzbach, Catriona Gray botong-boto sa pagsali ni Liza Soberano sa Miss U: “I’m not closing my doors.” (Open your windows na rin.)

•Vice umaming pinagselosan si Catriona: Ang dami-dami nilang pictures ni Ion! (Nemen.)

•Willie Revillame bumili ng sariling chopper, may lisensya nang lumipad; mansion sa Tagaytay inulan ng putik at abo! (There are things money can’t buy.)

•Regine Velasquez pumayag maging nanay ni Jodi Sta. Maria sa “My Single Lady” ng iWant. (What’s wrong with being a mother?)

•Jenine Desiderio sa fans ni Janella Salvador: Kapag nagsalita ako kamumuhian n’yo siya. (We will rephrase the question: What’s wrong with this mother?)

•Bakit hindi maderetso ng JaDine na walang breakup na nangyari? (Hmm. Because it keeps people guessing…?)

•James Reid at Nadine Lustre nagpakasal na nga ba sa US; may bagong bahay na nagkakahalaga ng P30M? (Mabuhey!)

•Nadine 8 taon pa sa Viva; sayang ang kaseksihan at pagiging best actress. (Lagot.)

•Martin del Rosario waging best actor sa 2020 Asian TV Awards. (Galing naman.)

•Yam Concepcion sa pagpapakasal sa nonshow biz boyfriend: Pwede … pero huwag natin i-jinx! (Pwede ring hindi?)

•Tom Rodriguez hinarana si Carla Abellana: Aylabyu! (Cue music: “Uso pa ba ang harana…?”)

•Sharon Cuneta bugbog sa bashers: Kung ayaw n’yong pakialaman kayo ni KC Concepcion, ‘wag kang mag-post! (Good point. Do we have to whine about our woes in cyberspace?)

•Sharon umaming nagpa-botox: Minimal lang, ayoko ’yung hindi na gumagalaw mukha ko. (Naku … iiyak na naman ’yan!)

•Barbie Forteza bagong Primetime Princess ng GMA 7. (If they don’t watch it, they’ll run out of titles to give anytime soon. What’s next? Primetime Lady in Waiting? Afternoon Duchess? Morning Slave? Late-Night Jester?)