Two-timing stud ordered to come home to wifey, pronto!

As Duplicitous Mister’s (DM) long-suffering partner, Alluring Raven (AR) is known for her patience and subservient ways. But when AR got wind of DM’s shenanigans, she rushed to the hotel where DM was spending some “quality time” with his Current Squeeze (CS).

When AR got there, she calmly but decisively ordered the lobby receptionist to call up DM and tell him to come down, pronto. After some time, the guilt-stricken DM eventually did, wearing nothing but his bathrobe. AR barked at DM, told him to leave everything—and everyone—behind, including CS, who was happily napping in their temporary love nest.

But, wait, DM still had to settle his hotel bills. Unfortunately, DM left his wallet in his room. So, AR gave the receptionist her credit card and simply ordered, “Charge it here!” AR then dragged DM to her car. Luh. lagot!

TOP OF THE TABLOIDS

This week’s top show biz news in the Inquirer tabloid Bandera (and why we are moved, if we are moved):

Gretchen Barretto

Gretchen Barretto sosyal pero biglang lumabas ang pagiging palengkera sa burol ng ama; tatay ng tatlong Barretto sisters hindi matatahimik ang kaluluwa: Sana nirespeto nila ang patay! (Let’s call it impeccable upbringing.)

Claudine Barretto tuloy ang demanda laban kay ex-Mayor Recom Echiverri. (The circus continues.)

Atong Ang sa relasyon kina Gretchen, Claudine at Nicole: Bakit ko naman aaminin… may nakakita ba? (To see is to believe, is that it?)

KathDen movie lalaban sa 2019 Australian Academy of Cinema. (Hello, Love, Award!)

Maine Mendoza at Carlo Aquino natalbugan sa takilya si Angelina Jolie? (Maybe Maleficent needs to learn sign language more than magic spells?)

Maine tagumpay sa pagiging Lagare Queen; pinagsabay ang pag-iyak at pagpapatawa. (Let’s hope that isn’t a troubling manifestation of someting pathological.)

Kris Bernal sa usaping pag-ibig: Kaya kong pumatay! (Violent!)

Clint Bondad transwoman billionaire ang ipinalit kay Catriona Gray? (It doesn’t hurt to be, uh, practical these days.)

Mukha ni Ate Guy (Nora Aunor) nasa stamp na ng  Philpost; pero nagawang ilaglag sa MMFF 2019! (Superstar super-asar.)

Angel Locsin laging bantay-sarado kay Neil Arce. (Must be great for the guy’s ego.)

Janine Gutierrez

Sagot ni Janine Gutierrez kapag nag-propose si Rayver Cruz: Wait lang, hindi ako ready! (No rush needed.)

Janine nabiktima rin ng sexual harassment: Sinigawan ko siya! (Must be a great way to ward off perverts.)

Dingdong Dantes napuruhan sa tuhod matapos sumabak sa 42-kilometer run sa Berlin Marathon. (Did his tuhod do the running?)

Edward Barber (left) and Maymay Entrata

Maymay Entrata sinagot na nga ba si Edward Barber nang magpakita sa kanila ang Northern Lights? (Haba ng hair ni neneng.)

Sharon Cuneta ilang beses umiyak sa “Iconic” concert; may hugot na naman kay Gabby Concepcion! (Sheesh. This is getting  tiring.)

Gabby Concepcion (left) and Sharon Cuneta

Gabby pumayag na ngang ituloy ang reunion movie nila ni Sharon, pero may isang kundisyon… (Let’s take a guess: No crying?)

Bimby Aquino balak na nga bang karirin ang pag-aartista at pagiging vlogger? (Avavavava…)

Alden Richards pinagbubuti ang trabaho hindi lang para sa pera… (Good boy.)

Anak ni Ruffa Gutierrez na si Lorin tinanggal na ang apelyidong “Bektas.” (Nahirapan sa… spelling?)

Sarah Geronimo pinalakpakan, pinaiyak ang madlang pipol sa “Unforgettable.” (‘Di nga?)

JM de Guzman: Masaya kami ni Ria (Atayde) sa relasyon namin ngayon. (High five, pre!)

Teejay Marquez: Kung gagawa ako ng sex video dapat naka-HD. (Whoa. He has high standards!)