Home for the Agent, any minute by now and other boob-tube booboos

SOME fans of Boob-Tube Booboos have “made lambing“ for a “special Valentine’s Day edition” of our TV boners. Happy to oblige—here’s our latest ha-ha-harvest:

Host: You looked sad at the birthday party of (name of starlet). May problema ba between the two of you?

Guest: No, no problem—I was tired from shooting and pictorial, so I was not in my usual self, that’s all.

(Pero OK ka na ngayon, ganoon?)

* * *

Host: Why do you call this dessert your “Valentine Special for hungry lovers”?

Guest chef: Well, obviously, this is a really Valentine because it is raid!

(A “really raid” on Valentine’s? —Oh, red!)

* * *

Host: What did you win in the beauty pageant?

Guest: Miss Gown.

(Whee!)

* * *

Host: What about you? What title?

Other beauty: The Best Swimsuit Goes To . . .!

(—Said the Best Swimsuit, quote-unquote.)

* * *

Host: Is it true that your grandmother was the one who brought you up after your parents separated?

Guest: Yes, I love her so much and so grateful.

Host: Where is she now?

Guest: Sa Home for the Agent.

(Absolutely no comment!)

* * *

Host: What do you want to say to the graduates of your workshop?

Guest: Don’t worry, you soon will know the worth of your whatever.

(How—inspiring! We think…)

* * *

Host: What is the secret of this amazing hairstyle?

Stylist: The secret is the many hair extensions I used on my model, which is made up of so many synthetic Japanese!

(Ah, did something get lost in translation?)

* * *

Host: To whom did you dedicate your victory in the prestigious contest?

Guest: I dedicated it to a bad family.

(A bad family?! —Oh, the Abad family!)

* * *

Host: Why do you think the judges voted you as the winner of the pageant?

Guest: Siguro, nasarapan sila sa face ko.

(Kami rin—yum, yum!)

* * *

Host: By when do you plan to open your new resort?

Guest: Oh, any minute by now!

(That soon, huh?)

* * *

Host: Is it true that your mother passed away recently?

Guest: Yes, that’s true.

Host: Condolence. —How old was she when she died?

Guest: She died of the age of 46.

(You should have told her not to look at the calendar.)

* * *

Host: Do you have anything else to say before we bid our viewers good night?

Guest: I just want to say that it was unbelievably a pleasure talking to you!

(A, ganoon, ha? Well, it was not a pleasure talking to you, too!)