“I’ve always known,” Jake Zyrus said Friday in an interview on ANC’s ‘Headstart’ with Karen Davila regarding his gender identity.
Despite being recognized internationally and being able to perform at The Oprah Winfrey Show and The Ellen Show as Charice, Zyrus disclosed how this was one of the toughest times he experienced.
“Ang hirap sundin kung ano yung nafi-feel ko because nakikita ko yung lahat ng tao sa paligid ko na masaya and nandun pa yung fear ko kung ano yung iisipin nila if ever sinabi ko kung sino talaga ako, kung ano talaga ako,” he said.
[It’s hard to follow what I felt that time because I could see how happy the people around me were and there’s still fear about whatever they might think if ever I tell them who I really am, what I really am.]
Zyrus also shared how he already knew his gender preference since he was a child.
“Hindi ko pa alam yung mga labels noon, ang alam ko lang po ay gay at lesbian. So parang sinabi ko na, lesbian? Bakit hindi pa rin yun ako?”
[I did not know about labels at that time. I only knew what gay and lesbian were. Then I asked myself, lesbian? Why do I think that’s still not who I am?]
With his newly released memoir, “I Am Jake,” Zyrus recalled how people asked if this was his closure with Charice.
“There’s nothing to close kasi bata pa ako, wala pa po akong pangalan noon, wala pang ‘Jake’ na pangalan, but I’ve always known na bakit parang mali yung nakikita ko sa nararamdaman ko?”
[There’s nothing to close because ever since I was a child, I never had a name that time, ‘Jake’ was still non-existent, and I’ve always known why what I saw seemed wrong with what I felt.]
The book recounts the process of Zyrus’ transformation, from his top surgery to his hormone replacement surgery and everything in between his journey as a trans man.