They used to be the best of friends. They were, ahem, thick as thieves.
Then, Loquacious Raconteur suddenly and inexplicably ended up on the most-loathed list of Controversial Banshee.
CB doubted LR’s loyalty, notwithstanding years of devotion. Is it because of CB’s insecurities that were caused by a slew of setbacks? Or is LR really sleeping with CB’s enemies?
These days, LR has curiously become chummy with Dazzling Artiste, notorious as CB’s nemesis.
As usual, CB called up the Powers That Be, to complain about LR. Badmouthing LR didn’t do much good, though.
CB tried the same strategy, disparaging another enemy, LR’s Fiery Cohort, but that likewise fell on deaf ears.
Bloodbath, interrupted
A messy incident could’ve erupted on the set of an ill-fated enterprise years ago. Striking Pugilist got fed up because of Cantankerous Rabble-rouser’s massive ego, which was inversely proportional to the venture’s actual viability.
CR’s incompetence knew no bounds and hapless coworkers had to suffer all sorts of indignities, as a result. After a tiring day, SP snapped and wanted to confront CR.
SP was ready to beat the living daylights out of CR. Cooler heads prevailed, however.
Well, CR was later overheard lambasting one of the celebs who had prevented the bloody battle from happening.
Painful lesson
Which leads us to another one of CR’s shenanigans.
Celebrated Damsel, out of sheer kindness, agreed to help CR accomplish a foolhardy quest.
CD gladly accommodated CR’s requests and sacrificed other gigs to clear up a frequently busy calendar.
Alas, the experience was hardly pleasant and positive.
After an emotionally and physically demanding collaboration, CD was shocked to discover that the fee from CR’s project would barely cover the expenses incurred during the entire excruciating affair.
Face, meet palm.
Small but terrific
Remember Giddy Jouster who was literally caught with his pants down?
Those scandalous pics have proven a long-held show biz myth. That, in spite of the diminutive stature, GJ more than makes up for it in other departments. That GJ inherited a “surprising” asset from legendary kin, Gorgeous Rake.
Former lovers swear that GJ packs a wallop in the boudoir. Case in point: Cranky Gadfly couldn’t help blabbing to friends about GJ’s prodigious gifts.
Kiss and tell, anyone?
Was that why CG raised hell when they eventually had to part ways?
Can’t bi me love
From the Inquirer tabloid Bandera:
Gaudy Vixen is at it again!
According to insiders, GV is targeting a new romantic prospect: Hunky Jock.
Sticking to tried-and-tested tactics, GV sent expensive gifts, including flashy rubber shoes from abroad, to HJ.
After all, GV’s gimmick had worked in the past. This time, however, GV’s game plan flopped miserably. HJ ignored not just the presents, but GV, as well.
It’s because HJ comes from a wealthy clan, unlike GV’s previous victims, and is well-guarded by an eagle-eyed girlfriend.
Top of the show biz news
For those who missed last weekend’s show biz news on TV (and why we are moved, if we are moved):
Mystica, who now sells fried chicken, appeals to Coco Martin for a role in “Ang Probinsyano”: “Sana po ay mabigyan ako ng pagkakataon kasi ’yun na lang po ang pag-asa ko, ’yung talent ko.” (Hope springs…)
Kathryn Bernardo on how she and boyfriend Daniel Padilla deal with relationship challenges: “Dinadaan lang namin sa pag-uusap at nalalampasan namin.” (OK, fine…)
Ogie Alcasid on turning emotional in his 30th anniversary show: “Ito’y pasasalamat sa pagkakataong makapagbigay ng kasiyahan sa ating mga manonood.” (Take a bow.)
Sarah Geronimo —ELOISA LOPEZ
Sarah Geronimo on paying tribute to female senior citizens during a screening of “Miss Granny”: “Malapit po kasi sila sa puso ko. Old soul po ako.” (But young at heart.)
Marlo Mortel on his mother’s dying wish: “Ang bilin talaga niya … mahalin ko ang work ko.” (Stay strong, kiddo.)
Kyline Alcantara on her upcoming first concert: “Nakakaiyak kasi … dream come true talaga siya.” (Keep dreaming.)
Jake Zyrus —LYN RILLON
Jake Zyrus on discrimination: “When I go to London, I can use the male toilet. But here, I get the looks. Sometimes, I go to restrooms for the handicapped.” (Haay.)
Gee Canlas on Archie Alemania proposing to her after eight years: “Parang umakyat ang puso ko sa throat ko!” (Is that a good sign?)
LJ Reyes
LJ Reyes on why she felt nervous after finding out she’s pregnant with Paolo Contis’ child: “Aki (her first kid) is already 8, so ang tagal na nung huling nakahawak ako ng baby.” (It will all come back to you, Ma.)
Rochelle Pangilinan on husband Arthur Solinap’s reaction to her pregnancy: “Tumawag ’yung doctor … Eh nagda-drive si Arthur. Napahawak siya [sa ‘kin], tapos ang lamig ng kamay niya.” (Pure bliss!)
Benjamin Alves
Benjamin Alves on playing Manuel L. Quezon in the final installment of Jerrold Tarog’s hero trilogy: “I’m very lucky that they saw something in me.” (Excited much.)
TV Patrol, 24 Oras, Balitanghali