Ravishing hottie wages war against rival

A salacious scandal is about to explode anytime soon.

The enemies of Ravishing Hottie are revving up for war. Kibitzers insist on exposing RH’s shenanigans in the boudoir.

Apparently, Notorious Rival wants RH’s head. RH made the mistake of running away with NR’s ex-lover.

Adding fuel to the fire, RH’s supporters retort that NR’s track record is not exactly spotless, either. They are threatening to unleash supposed skeletons from NR’s closet, which involve Woeful Entrepreneur.

Birds of the same feather make a gaudy feather duster!

Mean girls redux

These mean girls used to look down on poor Perky Jezebel.

Alas, PJ hooked a pretty big fish, Conniving Honcho.

Now, the popular gals, who ignored PJ in the past, have no choice but to party with the social pariah.

After all, they are all beholden to CH—one way or another.

Thing is, their real benefactor is CH’s sponsor, Bodacious Vixen. And if they know what’s good for them, they would drop PJ… pronto!

After all, it’s not wise to incur the wrath of BV.

Lower depths

How low can you go?

Colleagues in Antagonistic Maven’s old workplace knew it all along: That AM is incompetence personified.

They scoff that AM’s IQ can rival the Marianas Trench. Yup, the lowest depths on planet Earth.

The ugly truth was revealed when AM moved to another firm.

AM is now making quite a massive mess in this new post.

On a roll

Is it true that Rambunctious Juvenile has caught the eye of Prominent Mogul?

Well, PM is renowned for making handsome hunks richer (by a couple of millions) after their meet-and-greet sessions.

Is RJ the latest conquest of PM? Ever generous PM has supposedly bankrolled one of the major projects of the luscious lad.

To be fair, the venture sounds promising enough to merit PM’s attention. All is fair in love and … business!

Small but terrible

From the Inquirer tabloid Bandera:

Seems a whiff of fame has gone straight to the cute little head of Aggressive Rake—emphasis on “little.”

According to a mole, AR had the gall to betray a colleague who’s responsible for those good breaks.

AR has given strict instructions that all inquiries should pass by current partner. Oh no, Yoko? Insiders complain that AR takes forever to respond to simple questions, as well.

Worse, AR has become aloof, snubbing fellow artists backstage.

TOP OF THE TABLOIDS

This week’s top show biz news in the Inquirer tabloid Bandera (and why we are moved, if we are moved):

Andi Eigenmann minalas uli sa love life; binenta ang ari-arian kapalit ng simpleng buhay sa Baler: “I’m happily single—yes, by choice.” (Go, gurl!)

Andi Eigenmann

Daniel Padilla wala sa final cast ng “Marawi” movie; Robin Padilla apektado. (Hmmm…)

Daniel Padilla

Alden Richards may napili nang super sidekick sa “Victor Magtanggol.” (Da who?)

Alden Richards

Vice Ganda “nadamay” sa rambulan ng Gilas at Team Australia. (Why kaya?)

Sarah Geronimo may adbokasiya laban sa depression at bullying. (OK.)

Gretchen Barretto walang pakialam kahit magmukhang luka-luka! (Ho-hum.)

Catriona Gray, Maxine Medina pabor sa pagsali ng mga transwomen sa Miss Universe. (Bongga kayo mga day!)

Pagtulong ni Anne Curtis sa Unicef tinawag na kaplastikan. (Harsh.)

Sharon Cuneta may gustong “kidnapin” na celebrity baby. Sino siya? (Suwerteng bata.)

Nam Joo Hyuk ng “Weightlifting Fairy” may bagong serye. (Gamsahamnida !)

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