Adjoining passengers, a blessing disguise and other boob-tube booboos

A fan trendily gushes, “The Philippines is more fun with ‘Boob-Tube Booboos,’ so please come out with another special compilation to ring 2012 in with a big bang!” Again, happy to oblige!:

Host: When will your unique tour finally kick off?

Guest: Very soon—we’re just waiting for more adjoining passengers!

(—Uh, maybe you can try inviting the people next door?)

* * *

Host: What will your new beautifying technique do for your customers, especially the mature ones?

Guests: Guaranteed, it will get rid of all insightly marks on the face and body!

(Insightly marks—you mean, pimples and warts that mean something?)

* * *

Host: Share with our viewers some tips to conserve water. —What do you suggest?

Guest: Oh, like you can turn off the shower when brushing your teeth.

(That’s great—if you brush your teeth while in the  shower!)

* * *

Host: Tell us about the ways you have modified construction practices to bring down the cost.

Guest: For one, we advocate the creative use of indigent materials!

(Poor you!)

* * *

Host: What fun activities can we do while visiting your beautiful province?

Guest: Oh, so many—like, you can go hopping island!

(I’d like that—if I were a frog!)

* * *

Host: The air over our cities is so polluted. What can we do to make sure we don’t suffer from the effects of smog?

Guest: Against smog, you can inhale oxygin!

(Will you inhale with me? Toast!)

* * *

Host: Why did you join this contest?

Guest: Well, as they say, if you have a talent, why not to compete? So, may talent naman ako, so why not to compete?

(Inulit pa . . .)

* * *

Host: Idol mo ba si Tito  Noli?

Guest:  Opo.

Host: Kilala mo ba si Tito  Noli?

Guest:  Hindi po.

(Go figure!)

* * *

Host: When you lost, did you lose heart?

Guest: Of course, I’m human, But, after that, I got some even better offers, so I think it’s a blessing disguise!

(—Well, bless you!)