Ongoings and ingoings, the best champoo and other boob-tube booboos
Some readers have asked for a fresh batch of TV booboos as a “Christmas present.” We’re happy to oblige!:
* * *
Host: Where have your travels taken you thus far in the Philippines?
Guest: Literally, from north to south – sa iba’t ibang bahagi ng bulsa.
(We hope you mean bansa!)
* * *
Host: How do you plan to celebrate the anniversary of your organization?
Guest: Among other plans and activities, we will have a nationwide motorcade.
(Wow! Make sure you have enough gasoline for the trip!)
* * *
Host: How are you making sure that you will bring home the bacon for our country in the international competition?
Guest: I’ve practiced and practiced so hard, I’m sure the judges will gonna like it.
(—Uh, we’re not so sure…)
* * *
Host: Who thought up your family business?
Guest: Ang misis ko ang brainchild ng negosyo namin.
(Baliktad yata…)
***
Host: How did you feel when you played your first starring role?
Guest: I was honored – it was an eye-opening for me!
(Ah, so…)
* * *
Host: What will your new show be about?
Guest: Each week, we will report about the social-cultural ongoings and ingoings of the week.
(Ongoings and ingoings? What the heck do you mean?)
* * *
Host: When you cook fish, what style of cooking is best to bring out the flavor?
Guest: Grilling is best.
Host: OK, which side should we grill first?
Guest: First, the lep side, then the ripe side.
(—Whee!)
* * *
Host: How did you become a leader in your profession?
Guest: Am I? Well, it’s simple – you just have to make a room for others.
(That’s great – if you’re in the construction business!)
* * *
Host: What can you say about your new hair product?
Guest: Panalo ‘to – the best champoo!
(Ah, kaya pala “champion”!)
* * *
Host: Who do you think will be your rivals for the crown in the beauty pageant?
Guest: Actually, so many are beautiful from Europe and other national!
(—Patay.)
