Far-out names for ‘entitled’ show biz progeny
Angelina Jolie with son Maddox in the early 2000s
Once upon a less hyper and hyped-up time, movie stars were “just folks” in their estimation of themselves after leaving the studio and heading for home. Thus, Kirk Douglas named his children just like everybody else—Michael, Eric, Joel and Peter, no fuss or stellar flash at all.
Of late, however, show biz luminaries have turned much more unique, creative and even occasionally bizarre in the far-out names they have thought or conjured up for their beautiful offspring—the better to make them stand out and dazzle the viewing and adoring public with their special creativity and cachet!
For starters, Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin named their daughter Apple, raising some eyebrows. But, that cute moniker was positively bland when followed by Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s Maddox, Helen Hunt’s Makena Lei, Rachel Griffith’s Banjo, Penn Jillette’s Moxie Crimefighter, Frank Zappa’s Moon Unit and Dweezil, Shannyn Sossamon’s Audio Science, Kate Hudson’s Ryder—and Jason Lee’s Pilot Inspektor!
Why do stars create colorful and far-out names for their “entitled” children? Psychologists have weighed in on the issue, and have variously opined that, in keeping with their constant craving for attention, it’s another way for stars to stand out and get talked about.
Digging deeper, some celebrity shrinks believe that show biz luminaries “seize the opportunity of parenthood to express their obsessions, ambitions and inner quirks!”
But, don’t the stars’ offspring resent the unusual names they’ve been given? The psychologists don’t think so. Some celebrities’ kids believe that, being the children of luminaries, they belong to a new breed of “pop royalty,” so their unusual names are the “equivalent of a royal title!” Stuff that in your pipe and smoke it.
Some stars aren’t quite as self-absorbed, but they do believe that their being creative and artistic makes it natural and logical for them to creatively come up with unusual names for their privileged progeny.
Other luminaries admit to working extra hard to be “different,” but point out that they’re simply reflecting their generation’s “penchant for obscure pop cultural references, iconoclasm and smirky irony.” Just doing what comes unnaturally!
Other purposively idiosyncratic and attention-calling names of stars’ children: Jena Malone’s Ode Mountain, Sam Worthington’s Rocket Zot, Holly Madison’s Rainbow Aurora, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West’s North, Beyoncé’s Blue Ivy, Ed Harris’ Heiress, Ashlee Simpson’s Jagger Snow and Bronx Mogley, Courtney Cox’s Cocoa, Rob Kardashian’s Dream, Jamie Oliver’s River Rocket, Megan Fox’s Journey River, Alanis Morissette’s Onyx Solace and Liv Tyler’s Lula Rose and Sailor Gene.
More: Kelly Clarkson’s Remington Alexander, Louis Tomlinson’s Sydney Rain, Zooey Deschanel’s Elsie Otter, Ed Norton’s Atlas, Hayden Christensen’s Briar Rose, Kelly Rowland’s Titan Jewell, Ashton Kutcher’s Wyatt Isabelle, Lil’ Kim’s Royal Reign—and Uma Thurman’s Rosalind Arusha Arkadina Altalune Florence!
