My romantic connection to Miss Piggy and Kermit

LEGENDARY couple Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog star in the new movie, “The Muppets.” RUBEN NEPALES

LOS ANGELES – I have to croak an admission: I have a romantic, if not rainbow, connection to Miss Piggy and Kermit. I wrote my marriage proposal to my wife Janet on a publicity still of “The Muppets Take Manhattan” that shows the glamorous porcine diva and her beloved getting married.

Janet has always loved Miss Piggy (I wonder why).

Flash-forward to many years later and suddenly, we had a chance to interview Miss P and Kermit about their new movie, “The Muppets.” I asked Janet to bring the still so we can show it to the couple. She carefully took out the photo from a page in our wedding album. Then off we went to meet our romantic inspiration.

Ever the prima donna, the uber confident Miss Piggy made a dramatic entrance and showed up midway through our interview. She let her Kermit and Walter do the talking in the first half. Needless to say, this was a laughter-filled talk. Below are excerpts from the interview:

It’s wonderful to see you in the flesh.

Kermit: You’re incredibly lifelike yourself.

Do you ever feel that you’re growing a little older?

NEW Muppet Walter with Miss P and Kermit. ruben nepales

K: Yes, I do. The truth is, I’m 55 years old. That’s 55 in frog years.

Walter: You look amazing.

K: Thank you. I try to work out. I do some yoga. I eat well. You know, mosquitoes – high-protein diet. By the way, if you’re looking for a great weight-loss program, I recommend mosquitoes. You’ll lose weight in no time.

How was your experience filming in Paris?

K: Miss Piggy was a little upset about that because we didn’t actually go to Paris to shoot. We shot on a back lot. But I have to tell you, I love Paris except for one thing: I’m often an appetizer on the menu. I don’t hold any grudges about that. It’s just that I have to be careful. I just want to leave Paris intact.

W: They built this café on the back lot. Some of the props were very realistic.

K: I think they were my relatives.

Would you like to do another movie with Miss Piggy, like a “Gone with the Wind” type maybe?

K: We could do “Gone with the Swine.” Sure, sure.

What was the challenge in acting with a tall actor like Jason Segel?

K: That was a pretty big acting challenge. To me, Jason is like 17 feet tall. There were lots of big actors in the film. There was Amy Adams, of course. And there was one particularly large actor or actress, I should say. (Miss Piggy, in a black dress that shows a bit of her décolletage and printed gloves, made her entrance.) Well, speaking of the devil!

Miss Piggy: Hello! So sorry I’m late.

K: Where were you?

MP: Oh, I was just back there. Okay, you can start asking your very deep, profound questions to moi.

What were some of the funniest, dramatic and difficult moments you had on the set?

K: Miss Piggy, may I answer first?

MP: Go ahead. Please. I just got here.

K (chastised): Maybe you should go first. I’ll just wait here.

MP: Good boy! The funniest moments were definitely the ones when I told really funny jokes. The most dramatic moments were when I was being very dramatic. Difficult moments? I don’t remember any difficult

moments at all.

K: Oddly, all of those moments were the most difficult ones for me. But we won’t go into that.

How do you keep your relationship passionate?

MP: We just love each other. And I never let him out of my sight!

K: I have to go along with that because I have to go along with that.

MP: You must have trust in relationships. You just never let them out of your sight. (She suddenly tackled Kermit, dragged him on the floor and wildly kissed him. Then she and Kermit rose back to the table.).

What’s that? Did I hear a request for a follow-up? (She took Kermit back to the floor and passionately smooched him again.)

K (rising back to the table, looking very flustered; Miss Piggy’s hair was a mess): Now, we’re going to need a second to recover from that.

Miss Piggy, you look incredible. You haven’t aged a day. A lot of actresses are under a lot of pressure to do things to stay a certain way. Would you ever consider that? What is your beauty secret?

MP: I’ve tried many different things over the years. I did go under the knife once. It just brought back bad memories. The truth is, moi is just naturally beautiful so I don’t really have to do that much. It’s true. Not everyone’s a beauty. Although this is a wig I’m wearing, we do have gray style hairs. Very short hairs that cover up any of the wrinkles that one might get. It’s like Marilyn Monroe—she had fine hair.

K: Yeah, not only that, but it makes great footballs.

Who among your favorite stars have you worked with over the years?

MP: I have to say that Jason Segel and Amy Adams are some of the best background actors. I just want to pay them that compliment.

K: Rashida Jones was wonderfully creative and she’s a very attractive young actress, wouldn’t you say?

W: Rashida Jones – yes, are you kidding?

(Miss Piggy made a threatening face.)

K: I’ll stop there actually.

E-mail the columnist at rvnepales_5585@yahoo.com. Follow him

at https://twitter.com/nepalesruben.

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