Respect 101

Two mornings ago, I opened Facebook to a few posts recounting a recent incident about an actor (who shall remain nameless here) who allegedly grievously disrespected a coactor in a scene.

The coactor was bound and gagged, unable to move, and, as his character, is begging for his life as outlined in the script. There are three other actors present playing smaller parts, as well, plus the director and crew manning their stations.

So far, everything is going according to what’s written, until the immobilized actor hears his scene partner unzipping his trousers, anxious about what could happen next. And then, the unthinkable happens.

Needless to say, after the director yells, “Cut,” the now freed-from-his-binds actor, soaked from head to toe in urine, is livid. He punches a steel cargo container wall, injuring his hand (thankfully, surgery will not be required), and hurls all sorts of invectives at the offending party. He retained enough professionalism to finish the scene, struggling to remain in character through it all, but that stopped the moment the tape over his mouth was removed.

As an actor, hearing about incidents like this is beyond infuriating. It is an egregious violation of that thing that governs the actions of all arts practitioners and those who work alongside them: Respect.

Rehearsal rooms and film sets are supposed to be safe spaces for us to work in. In these rooms, we are at our most vulnerable, our emotions laid bare. That space is considered sacred.

That’s how we are able to do our best work, knowing that we all, without exception, have each other’s backs. There is support from everyone involved: actor, director, scriptwriter, cameraman, crew member, assistants and staff. And it doesn’t matter how old you are; you are expected to know this. Even if you happen to be 11 years old.

The offending actor has the unenviable reputation of reportedly showing up intoxicated on film sets. Rehearsals with him are unpredictable, or just plain unproductive. Producers have allegedly given him many chances to clean up his act, but it seems his luck might have run out for good after this latest untoward incident. As the director of the film has pointed out on her Facebook page, his character has been killed off, and her movie will do just fine without him.

No one is ever above this cardinal rule of working in the arts, show business or any other industry on earth. Respect your coworkers, and you will receive respect. Find below a few specific ways to practice this:

When a very quiet scene is being rehearsed or shot, make sure there’s nothing on your person that could make noise. Put your cell phone on silent mode, or turn it off completely. If you need to have a piece of candy, unwrap it beforehand or wait until after the scene is done.

The author with Simon Bowman onstage at the 25th anniversary gala of “Miss Saigon”

Assure your costar (especially if you’re in a romantic partnership onscreen or onstage) that you are worthy of his/her trust. Here’s a story: When I was 18 years old working on “Miss Saigon,” upon finding out that I would have to be in very romantic, passionate clinches with my costar Simon Bowman, both my mother and I were petrified. Simon very sweetly spoke to us separately, saying that we could absolutely trust him, that he would never ever use the scenes to take advantage of me. He was true to his word from the very first rehearsal until the very last time we performed Kim and Chris together.

Support and respect your fellow actors. Each of them has a different process preparing for or performing a role. At the end of one rehearsal of “Fun Home” in Manila, director Bobby Garcia told the kids in the show that all the grownups have a different process, so they were expressly told to not make us kulit (pester us) until we gave them permission. And they did just that.

Show up early, and prepared. This needs no further explanation.

Have empathy for everyone you’re working with. Place yourself in their shoes. We don’t always know what’s going on in their lives. One actor got gravely ill while working on a musical, but still managed to show up for performances despite this. The disease manifested itself as acne that broke out everywhere. Another actor in the same show was being judgmental without first finding out what was wrong, thinking it might’ve been communicable. Fair enough, but wouldn’t a “Hey there, are you OK?” have been a much better way to approach this, thus eliminating subsequent misunderstanding?

Respect the casting decision of the director, even if you disagree with it. While working in a show, one actor I know would receive the most vile text messages the moment she would exit a scene and return backstage. She suspected that the unfortunate timing meant that it was coming from someone in the show working with her who might’ve been her competition during the casting process.

Keep the workplace as peaceful as possible. It doesn’t have to be tomb silent, but one should look forward to going there because of the wonderful camaraderie and friendships formed. I’ve worked in shows where, one or two floors above me, doors would be loudly slammed when coworkers didn’t like each other, goodbye cards ripped apart, animosity while onstage. To be clear, no one is required to like one another. In truth, that is a bonus and doesn’t always happen. But to respect one another is an absolute must. This is inviolable.

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