Most hated colleague serves as big boss’ spy

There is a perfectly valid reason why Devious Insider is much loathed by colleagues.

According to a mole, DI acts as Big Boss’ spy. DI reports everything to BB.

If someone dared to contradict the firm’s policies, DI would make sure BB was notified with dispatch.

BB has given DI carte blanche to snoop around like a one-man Gestapo crossed with a makapili.

No wonder, coworkers are ill at ease whenever DI is around. They know that BB is watching their every move, with the help of DI.

It’s like living in a constant state of siege.

Hairy potter

Cute Newbie is being built up as the studio’s next big star.

CN, however, hit a speed bump on the road to stellar success.

An alleged sex video was leaked online and the solo star looked a lot like CN. The resemblance is uncanny.

CN’s supporters vehemently deny the scuttlebutt, claiming that the guy in the vid, who’s obviously high on pot, has hairy legs.

They insist that CN’s gams are way to smooth.

Naysayers, however, were just as persistent: CN could’ve easily waxed the hair off.

Footloose, not fancy-free

Talk about hitting below the belt—way, way below…

Boisterous Personality had a rather acrimonious relationship with Charming Colleague.

Things came to a head and BP blew up, big time. BP confronted CC who was just as antagonistic.

BP’s blood boiled.

BP was overheard, screeching: “That arrogant fool has smelly feet!”

How low can you go?

Penny-pincher

Cantankerous Frenemy unmasked Vociferous Personality’s true nature.

VP often flaunts purportedly fabulous fortune.

CF, however, was appalled to learn that VP was a tight-wad. CF found out that VP’s donation to a noteworthy fundraiser was measly compared to the “love offerings” of other celebrities.

“VP often brags about being generous and wealthy,” CF exclaimed. “Hogwash!”

To add insult to injury, CF’s contribution was bigger compared to VP’s.

Quite understandably, CF went ballistic.

Predator, not prey

From the Inquirer tabloid Bandera:

A source caught Cute Hunk hanging out in a rather curious place on several occasions.

That area is supposedly frequented by handsome flesh-peddlers. Well, CH isn’t there as prey, so it can only mean that he’s a predator in that infamous hunting ground of lascivious pleasure-seekers.

CH is often accompanied by a gay friend there. Turns out CH’s companion also doubles as his “procurer.”

Yup, the bosom buddy negotiates with the boys on CH’s behalf.

Call him Commissioner Gordon!

Top of show biz news

For those who missed last weekend’s show biz news on TV (And why we are moved, if we are moved.)

Angelica Panganiban on doing projects with actors from rival networks: “Sana, mas madalas…dahil refreshing.” (Not only for you, but also for the audience, ’di ba?)

Julia Montes

Julia Montes on her rumored boyfriend, Coco Martin: “Hindi kami nagkikita. Super busy [kami].” (Absence makes the heart grow fonder?)

Coco Martin

Coco, asked if he thinks his movie, “The Super Parental Guardians,” will be a hit despite not making it to this year’s MMFF: “Hindi ko siya iniisip. Saka, nawala na ang pressure.”  (Okay.)

Manila Mayor Joseph Estrada on netizens commenting that his granddaughter, Ellie (child of Jake Ejercito and Andi Eigenmann), is pretty: “Siyempre, mana sa lolo!” (Namen.)

Rufa Mae Quinto on her recent wedding: “Mahigit pa sa happy fiesta ang nararamdaman ko!” (May you have more fiestas to come!)

Ellen Adarna

Ellen Adarna on her alleged romance with Baste Duterte: “Tanungin n’yo na lang siya!” (Hmmm…)

Jessy Mendiola, asked how she and Enchong Dee prepared for their love scene in “Mano Po 7”: “Nag-toothbrush kami.” (How considerate.)

Jessy on her alleged feud with Angel Locsin: “Feeling ko, OK naman kami. Ang mga hardcore supporters namin ang nagka-clash.” (When in doubt, blame the fans.)

Marian Rivera on Baby Zia’s simple first birthday: “Ang pinaka-important, kumpleto lahat kami.” (Korek!)

Rhian Ramos on her movie, “Saving Sally,” making it to this year’s MMFF: “I shot this when I was just 19 years old… Lahat kami, nag-iyakan about the film fest.” (Is it worth the 10-year wait?)

Miss World Philippines 2016 Catriona Gray on Miss World 2013 Megan Young’s advice to her: “Be yourself.” (Good luck!)—TV PATROL, 24 ORAS, UNANG HIRIT