OUR FOLLOW-UP list of loopy song titles has elicited “more pa-more” requests, which indicate that some readers can’t get their fill of spaced-out songwriters’, ah, effusive musical effusions.
—Must be because these wild and woolly titles are like crazy, short-short stories that provide glimpses and strobe-light flashes of folk singers and rockers’ most private and telling lows and highs. Our latest harvest:
“Jesus Chrysler Drives a Dodge”; “We Threw Gasoline on the Fire and Now We Have Stumps for Arms and No Eyebrows”; “Shoplifters of the World Unite!”; “He Hit Me—And It Felt Like A Kiss”; “Chant of the Ever Circling Skeletal Family”;
“Stalkers Slit My Wrist”; “I Went Home at Two With a Ten and Woke up at Ten with a Two”; “A Mysterious Semblance at the Strand of Nightmares”; “Baboon Rape Party”; “I Like Bananas Because They Have No Bone”; “I Used to Have a Best Friend, But Then He Gave Me an STD”; “Cowboy King”
“If You Can’t Ride Two Horses at Once—You Should Get Out of the Circus”; “I Was Once, Possibly, Maybe, Perhaps a Cowboy King”; “For Stevie Wonder’s Eyes Only”; “Honey, This Mirror Ain’t Big Enough for the Two of Us”; “I’m Low on Gas and You Need a Jacket”; “The Only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide is Press Coverage”;
“If Trees Had Eyes, They’d be Glaring at You”; “I Lost All My Money at the Cockfight”; “If You Think This Song is About You, It Probably Is”; “Underwater Bimbos from Outer Space”; “If You Can’t Live Without Me, Why Aren’t You Dead Yet?”
And, the “legally loopiest” of them all, “Our Lawyer Made Us Change the Name of This Song So We Wouldn’t Get Sued.” —Slap-happily guilty, your honor!