WHEN OUR barkada plays charades, people scramble to get us on their team, because we’re supposed to be film experts. Uh, not really, we just happen to know some pretty weird movie titles—which are guaranteed to stump the competition!
The trusty titles in our arsenal include “Oh, Dad, Poor Dad, Mama’s Hung in the Closet and I’m Feeling So Sad.” For a strong followup, we go with “Rape of the Sabine Women,” which intimidates opponents who don’t want to do full visual justice to the “rape” part. And, for the coup de grace, we end by unleashing “Dr. Strangelove, Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb”!
Recently, however, we were hugely humbled to discover that the weird titles we were so proud of couldn’t hold a candle to the really outlandish and kilometric movie titles out there! So, if you want to win big in your group’s next charades tourney, pencils ready:
To really perplex the flummoxed foe, zap them with “Mexican Wrestling Women vs the Aztec Mummy,” why don’t you? The goony gonzo who thought up that title deserves an award, don’t you think?
But he would lose out to the even loopier and goonier guy who came up with “The Incredibly Strange Creature Who Stopped Living and Became A Mixed-up Zombie”—! What was he ingesting when he created that crazy title?!
Implausible impossibilities
What about “Hitler Meets Christ?” Think of the myriad implausible possibilities!—Actually, it should be “Christ Meets Hitler,” don’t you think?
“I Was a Zombie for the FBI” is weirdly fascinating because it’s a crazy juxtaposition of two film types that never the twain should meet: the gangster films of the ’30s and ’40s starring Humphrey Bogart, and the new zombie flicks that have given camp and crud a new lease on—death?
Movie titles related to weird filmic encounters: “Billy the Kid vs Dracula,” “Tom Thumb—Child of Satan,” “Gure-met, the Zombie Chef from Hell,” “Land of the G-Strings” and “Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla.”
Even legit movies sometimes have strange titles: Remember “Divine Sisters of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood?” “The Mom Who Loved Cat Dancing” is another familiar title. Then, there’s the artistic film, “The Englishman Who Went Up A Hill and Came Down A Mountain,” starring Hugh Grant!
Plus: “Can Heironymus Merkin Ever Forget Mercy Humppe and Find True Happiness?,” with Joan Collins portraying a character named Polyester Poontang.
As for “To Wong Foo , Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar,” the gay caper actually garnered good reviews!
Finally, to absolutely slay the competition, take a deep breath and zap them with “Night of the Day of the Dawn of the Son of the Bride of the Return of the Revenge of the Terror of the Attack of the Evil, Mutant, Hellbound, Flesh-Eating Subhumanoid Zombified Living Living Dead—Part 3!”