Feisty celeb puts a curse on erring lover

Sounds like a Disney movie gone awry.

Flamboyant Personality was not able to recover after breaking up with Cheating Sweetheart. FP put a hex on CS, who supposedly ran away with quite a hefty sum.

The “curse” worked.

CS’ latest project bombed spectacularly. FP now cackles like Maleficent because CS has been pushed over the edge of penury.

FP warned anyone who would try to help CS: “You might get jinxed, too.”

Babala! Asawa ni …!

Star wars

No wonder Major Star has yet to forgive Popular Playboy.

Years ago, PP had the temerity to snub MS.

Apparently, MS visited PP at home. PP, however, remained holed up in the boudoir and refused to face MS. PP didn’t even bother to show MS the door.

How rude!

MS swore never to hobnob with PP again.

It’s PP’s loss, really.

Epidemic proportions

More and more male celebrities are getting embroiled in sex video scandals.

Again, we assert: It’s a certified epidemic. Handsome Veteran purportedly recorded a rather intimate solo performance.

Problem is, HV already has grown children who can stumble on the naughty video online.

Another Inquisitive Hunk figured in a viral vid, too. Problem is, IH’s bosses can be a tad conservative.

Uh-oh.

Offensive

Seasoned Luminary went berserk.

SL is upset because Careless Colleague’s salacious images were spread all over social media. SC found CC’s “pastime” disgusting.

Checking out CC’s snapshots, anyone will surely go ballistic. For starters, CC’s “shortcomings” were on full display. Worse, CC is no hunk.

More like a chunk…

Guard dog

From the Inquirer tabloid Bandera:

There’s a running gag in the inner sanctum of Controversial Celeb. Insiders jokingly call CC’s Fearless Partner a “Doberman.”

FP can be ferocious in guarding CC’s wallet from jerks who tend to abuse them.

Indeed, CC can be generous to a fault. FP gladly acts as the kontrabida, to prevent CC from going bankrupt again.

CC almost ended up in hock due to manipulative, fair-weather friends.

Top of the tabloids

This week’s top show biz news in the Inquirer tabloid Bandera (and why we are moved, if we are moved):

RICHARD Gutierrez

Nakakakilabot ang bagong Panday ni Richard Gutierrez! (Kilabot in a good way, we hope.)

Carlo Aquino super excited na sa loveteam nila ni Melai Cantiveros. (As costar Pokwang would sing: “First, I was afraid. I was pesticide!”)

Mic Cazzola, girlfriend ni James Yap, dito sa Pilipinas gustong manganak. (Made and born in PH?)

Sikat na aktres matindi ang topak ’pag problemado sa love life; apektado pati trabaho. (Da who?)

BARBIE Forteza

Barbie Forteza sa Derrick Monasterio-Bea Binene loveteam: Wow! Maligaya ako para sa kanila! (Hmmm…)

Raymart Santiago “takot” matulog sa bahay ni Claudine Barretto. (Haunted house ba?)

Hacker ng IG account ni Maine Mendoza nag-sorry matapos burahin ang mga litrato. (Apologetic na hacker? How polite.)

KATHRYN Bernardo and Daniel Padilla

Daniel Padilla, Kathryn Bernardo, James Reid, Nadine Lustre magsasama-sama sa isang pelikula. (Giyera patani ang mga fans.)

NADINE Lustre and James Reid

Pero ilang tagasuporta ng KathNiel at JaDine kumontra. (Ayan na.)