Stellar contracts’ weird perks–and quirks

JOHN Mayer AP

Many show biz fans may not know it, but there’s a fierce backstage drama that sometimes takes place before stars agree to perform on concert or personal promo tours all over the United States—and the world:

Stars’ managers and handlers first have to sign contracts with local producers, and those iron-clad agreements stipulate all of the big and small, reasonable and far-out requirements that the performer can think up or fantasize about.

Some of the far-out requirements and stipulations are so extreme and loopy that they’ve become (heretofore secret) show biz lore!

They also provide weird insights into how some stars push their stellar clout to the limit—and beyond!—to remind everybody that they’re all-powerful and get anything and everything they want—for the simple reason that, without them and their fastidious acquiescence—there’s no show!

Time was when stars’ contract stipulations were as easy and reasonable as The Beatles’ “TV set and some Coke” and Elvis Presley’s “soft drinks and water.”

These days, however, if you want JLo to star in a concert, you might be required to provide “white” everything—white furniture, drapes, decor—etc.

Elton John? All of the furniture in his hotel room is stipulated—plus 6-foot banquet tables (full of yummy food, naturally)!

Slipknot is more challengingly specific: You’ve got to provide six cans of Chef Boyardee ravioli, Campbell’s Chunky Soup, Starburst fruit chews—and baby wipes!

Eminem? Wherever in the world he performs, he expects to see a selection of Taco Bell Mexican food—specifically imported from the United States.

Christina Aguilera? Soy milk, soy cheese, vitamin C, Flintstones chewable vitamins—and Echinacea.

Paul McCartney? He doesn’t want to see any leather anywhere—not in his hotel room   (even animal prints are nixed), in his producers’ vehicles, nowhere, nada. And, oh yes, he requires 24 bars of Ivory Soap—don’t ask why.

The Van Halen band? Famously, it has to have a bowl of M&M’s in its hotel room—with the specific caveat that all brown M&M’s must be excluded!

Now, for the really interesting or far-out stuff: John Mayer needs organic fruit, soy milk, mint-flavored Sensodyne or Tom’s of Maine toothpaste—plus Altoids. What is it with John Mayer’s mouth?

Mary J. Blige requires a new toilet seat in her hotel bathroom. Like, never been sat on before—got that?

The Coldplay band: Eight prestamped local postcards to send to family members. What a sweet thought!

The late Amy Winehouse: Joss sticks in her hotel room—and an “Only Big Boys Can Enter” sign on her hotel room door. Hmmm…

Iggy Pop? “Seven dwarves, prechopped broccoli florets—and pizzas to give to the poor.” How noble!

But the champion of them all is Motley Crue, who will perform for you only if you come up with a submachine gun with 500 9-mm rounds—and a boa constrictor (at least 15 feet long)! Good luck with that!