ACTING is his favorite drug, or so says Baron Geisler. PHOTO BY JIM GUIAO PUNZALAN
“Acting is my favorite drug,” quipped controversial actor Baron Geisler, who underwent rehab to lick his alcohol dependence.
After enrolling in the 12-step rehabilitation program at Penuel Home, a spiritual retreat house in San Juan, Baron said he came out feeling good, more knowledgeable and “having more control over my alcohol problem.”
The 28-year-old actor sought treatment in response to the demand of the Professional Artists, Managers Inc. or Pami in connection with the sexual harassment complaint filed before the group by actress Cherry Pie Picache.
Baron and Cherry Pie worked together in the defunct adventure series “Noah” on ABS-CBN. Pami asked Baron to publicly apologize to Cherry Pie and prohibited other artists, who are managed by Pami members, from working with Baron until he is “fully rehabilitated.”
“I read that Ms Cherry Pie is OK to working with me again. I’m really thankful for that,” Baron said. “Given the chance to see her again, I will apologize. Gumaan ang puso ko when I read that. It’s painful to learn na may taong ayaw ka katrabaho.”
He’s also facing charges of acts of lasciviousness filed in 2008 by Patrizha Martinez, daughter of actor William Martinez, before the Women and Children’s Desk of the Philippine National Police (PNP) in Camp Crame.
“I’m just waiting for my lawyers to tell me what’s up. I’m praying na maayos na.”
On Tuesday, actress Yasmien Kurdi agreed to withdraw the criminal cases – two counts of acts of lasciviousness and one count of unjust vexation – she filed in 2009 against Baron at the Municipal Trial Court of Bocaue, Bulacan. He issued a public apology to Yasmien.
Dressed in striped knitted shirt, faded jeans and canvass shoes, Baron visited the Inquirer office in Makati City one Monday afternoon. He gamely answered all our questions, while sipping coffee.
Excerpts from the interview:
How are you now?
“IT’S one thing to get into the program and another thing to finish it. There’s always the danger of relapse.” PHOTO BY JIM GUIAO PUNZALAN
Very good. I’m still getting things together. I’ve been out of rehab since August 17. The first thing I did when I came out was to have dinner with the family and to sleep. Sanay na kasi ako na pagdating ng 10 p.m., lights out .
How long did you stay in rehab?
Six months and three weeks. There are rehab facilities na 28 days lang. I decided to extend my stay. I figured ilang beses na akong bumagsak dati, 28 days isn’t enough. I really had to learn what I had to learn.
What did you learn?
A lot. I learned to be patient, to process my thoughts, to manage my emotions and to admit my mistakes – that I’m powerless over my addictions and my life has become unmanageable because of them. I also learned how to be humble – that’s the first step to opening up and learning these things.
It’s good that you decided to be open about it.
My life is already an open book when it comes to intrigues. My goal is to actually share what I’ve learned from the experience. It’s Step No. 12 – pay it forward and help others.
What was the most difficult step?
It’s not the steps that were difficult, but the part of having to clean the house, the toilet bowl. At first, I was like: “I’m paying you guys and you want me to clean the house for you?” We call it departmental chores. There were times when I had to wake up at 5 in the morning to cook eggs and corned beef for 21 guys.
I actually enjoyed the 12 Steps, especially the second, which is getting to know a power greater than yourself. The third step is turning your will over to the higher power. That, I think, was the hardest and most important step.
What was your daily routine?
I had to wake up at 5 a.m. if I was in charge of cooking. Breakfast had to be prepared by 7 a.m. We ate until 8 a.m. From 8 to 9 a.m. is quiet time. We read God’s Word, meditated, tried to memorize verses. After that, we did our departmental chores. We had 30 minutes to take our shower, then our morning devotion.
We talked about problems, how to deal with them and then shared what we’ve learned. ’Pag senior member ka, like I was, you facilitate the devotion. It was very hard, but by God’s grace, nakukuha ko naman ang attention ng grupo.
There we don’t brand people as alcoholics or drug addicts. There’s a deeper problem than addiction that we need to solve.
The routine, you don’t have that in show biz.
Pati naman sa daily living, it’s not structured. Ang pag-uwi ko ng bahay iba-iba ang oras. I miss the routine now that I’m out. After the interview, I’m going to the GLC or Global Leadership Commission. They teach us about the Bible. They’re grooming us to lead. Sila ang may hawak ng Penuel. I brought my mom once and she enjoyed the session.
What else do you miss now that you’re out?
I miss the honesty, the bonding. Inside, if I have a problem with you I’d tell it to your face right away. We’re humble enough to accept kung anuman ang reklamo and try to fix it. ’Di mo pwedeng gawin sa outside world ’yon. People will think you’re a freak. That’s what’s best about my relationship with the people inside. We’re Christians, we have the same belief. Not everyone outside are Christians, they might not understand how we deal with things.
Before you got in, you were worried about your career. Do you still feel the same way?
It’s a normal reaction to fear because show biz is my bread and butter. Now I’m really focusing on my recovery, ’di naman kasi parang magic ’yan. You have to work on it every day. We have accountability partners (support group). I call them up every day to say, “I’m doing OK but if I have cravings I’d let you know.”
Do you still have cravings?
Sometimes, like when I watch TV and see stuff. That’s why while I was inside, bawal manood. Kapag may napanood kang may party, ’di mo maiiwasan to say “that’s my old self. I miss that.”
Now that you’re out, you’ll be exposed to it again.
Yes, but now I think about the consequences.
What’s next for you?
I just did a film while I was inside, “Asiong Salonga.” I’m very thankful for the opportunity. Lumalabas ako pero may taga-Penuel na sumasama sa akin. Binabantayan ako. I’m grateful, aside from my manager Arnold (Vegafria), to these people because without them wala na siguro akong career.
You look good physically. Did that come with the program?
Not really. It’s from running and lifting weights. My schedule in rehab was very full. We finished between 5:30 and 6 p.m. Tuloy-tuloy ang studies namin from 7 a.m. to 6 p.m. We talked about our problems. Lahat ng mga baho, ng mga ayaw mong pag-usapan kailangan mong ilabas para when you get out of the place wala ka nang emotional baggage.
How did you handle this? Did you have a hard time expressing your feelings?
At first, yes. I thought, “Do I have to say this? Can I trust these people?” Eventually I realized kakampi ko sila. If I made mistakes inside and got reprimanded, they always reminded me that they were doing it out of love.
Who is your favorite Bible character?
David, because I can relate to him. Napakama-drama ng buhay niya. In spite of all the hardships, he still praises the Lord. He’s the underdog, from a shepherd boy to a king. The book of Psalms is my favorite.
What do you think became your problem?
Ang dami! I guess ’yong insecurities ko, and my making a lot of stupid decisions. This was aside from my dad’s death and our two houses burning down. It’s also my being stupid. Nawalan ako ng respeto sa sarili ko. I’ve regained that now.
You’re a successful actor. It seems that you have no cause to complain or be insecure.
Not many people know that I’m shy. Kaya siguro I drink para kumapal ang mukha ko. Inside the facility, I learned that you just have make your higher power guide you. Our rehab program is Bible-based.
Was that OK with everybody, even non-Christians?
OK lang. There’s one from INC (Iglesia ni Cristo), most are Catholics. They don’t get brainwashed. Nakikilala talaga nila si God doon. We only speak of the truth. I’m almost done with the Bible. We’re given an hour to read every day, sometimes I cover up to 18 chapters.
It’s a good piece of literature.
Yes, you learn about all sorts of things. The main purpose is mental gymnastics. For example, you used to do drugs, you drink, so your brain doesn’t function well. This is for you to be able use your mind properly, so eventually magkakaroon ka ng good judgment – without the influence of alcohol or drugs. We used to think we need these things to make us feel more confident and smart. In truth, we don’t.
Is it easier for you to talk about it now?
Yes, it’s also part of the healing process.
Not all of the guys in rehab are expected to talk about it as much as you because you’re a celebrity. Does this put more pressure on you?
Yes, but I shouldn’t think about it muna. I know there are kids there who look up to me because of what I did – sa pagiging brave ko. One mother came up to me and said, “You’re such an inspiration. Please help me pray for my son. Medyo matigas pa ang puso niya pero dahil sa ’yo sa tingin ko may pag-asa pa siya.” I like that but I think I shouldn’t focus on that. I just have to get my act together.
It’s one thing to get into the program and another thing to finish it. There’s always the danger of relapse.
They educate us about relapse and relapse prevention. It’s complete naman.
Do you still sometimes think you’re being judged?
Definitely. It’s like they’re all waiting for me to fall down. It’s like they’re saying, “He talks about God and his recovery but give him a month and he’ll stumble again.” I’m aware of this.
Attending parties is part of your job. Do you miss it?
Yes, but apart from that I also miss going to the set and working on my scripts. I really want to do TV. It’s good exercise for me if I’d get to do it every day. I’ve come to a point when babasahin ko lang ang script twice kuha ko na. Ngayon maghihirap na naman ako. One long line lang pag-aaralan ko pa talaga.
Why is it hard for us to believe that?
Kahit gaano ka kagaling you still need practice. They said my performance in “Asiong” was OK naman, but I think it lacked confidence. I guess it worked because it’s what the character needed, but what if I come across a role that demands it? I really have to practice. I’m hoping to enroll in an acting workshop with Pen Medina just to get me all fired up again.
So you avoid going to parties now?
Yes. I don’t want people to see me partying anymore. Para may kumuha naman sa akin as product endorser.
’Di ka na pwede mag-endorse ng alcoholic drink.
’Wag na. Sambong tea na lang (laughs).
How much alcohol do you consume to get drunk?
Ten bottles of Red Horse.
What do you do when you have cravings?
I pray. I talk to people. I drink coffee. I recite the serenity prayer, which is what we always pray inside the facility.
How is your family taking all these?
They’ve been very supportive. Donnie (brother and Taekwondo champ Donald Geisler) calls every day to check on me.
Na-process mo na why you’re insecure?
Because I didn’t go to college. All I ever thought about when I was younger ay babae at pagporma. ’Di ako nag-aral. ’Di katulad ngayon parang gusto kong matuto. I know it’s not too late.
Do you have plans to go back to school?
I used to want to take up Fine Arts and paint. But I spoke with the dean and he said I’d have to give up two years of my show biz career. I couldn’t do that because I need the money from work. Now, if ever I’d study it’d be management or business so I can handle my finances, so I know what I’m talking about. ’Di ako maloloko.
I want to be really successful. I hope when I turn 35 I’ll be able to buy my own house, at may good Christian wife na. I also want to have a baby, eventually, but not a mini-me. Baka paglabas pa lang, “Cheers dad!”
How has life inside the rehab changed you?
I wash the dishes now. At home, I mop the floor of the bathroom. There’s one kid at Penuel, he cried when I left. I still go there every Saturday to inspire them. I tell them, “I hope paglabas niyo ganito pa rin kayo.” I’m a graduate so I have to lead by example.
E-mail mcruz@inquirer.com.ph