Mamie’s choice (conclusion)

“It’s the pressure of this idea of following in her footsteps which is not possible,” Mamie Gummer said about one of the disadvantages of being an actress who happens to call Meryl Streep “mom.” Mamie, the second of four children of Meryl and sculptor Don Gummer, stressed in this New York interview that she has no illusions about replicating her iconic mother’s success.

“I just want to keep working,” claimed Mamie who costars with Meryl in “Ricki and the Flash” where they portray, well, mother and daughter. In this conclusion of our two-part column on her, Mamie also talks about how Meryl and the rest of her family and friends supported her when she and actor Benjamin Walker divorced after almost two years of marriage.

Does your mom ever tell you anything about acting?

No. It’s funny. We don’t talk about work very much. We talk about… the theater and about other people’s work and the decisions that they have made. But she doesn’t, unless I ask specifically, offer notes or criticism or things that I should do. She has given me some really sound advice when I asked her.

There are certain things (from her) that I carry with me, like this idea of defending your career above all and believing in the person that you are playing and the importance of standing up to defend her.

How do you think your mom managed to raise you and your siblings in such a balanced way?

She is the consummate actress. Coming up in New York and with her background in theater, she has always prized that. I don’t think that her aspiration was ever to be a movie star. She wanted to be an actress.

When we lived in Los Angeles for a while, I don’t know that she loved that herself. The influence of the industry in that town is so great and can be overwhelming. She wanted us to have experiences outside of that and to know that being famous is not the most important thing in life. I am very grateful.

The mani-pedi scene with your mom—is there anything that you routinely do with your mom?

Nothing in my family has been routine because we have been all over. In this business, it’s not a solid 9-to-5 kind of a thing. But as much as she could, she always made sure she would be home to put us to bed. There was a lot of singing in the car I did with my mom… A lot of Joni Mitchell.

What was it like for you and your siblings when you were little kids?

That’s a good routine thing. Every night, we had dinner together. A proper sit-down with questions like, “How was school? (laughs).”

Meryl said that she dropped this movie’s script in front of you and walked away.

Marc (Platt, producer) gave the script to her. She read it and she loved it. They got to talking about who should direct it and who should be part of the cast. She didn’t understand why anyone other than me should play the role. Things aligned—I was available and it was just the right time.

Were you scared?

There wasn’t really a moment’s hesitation. When my mom brought it up to Marc, he said that was always his idea. But it was nice of him to allow her to get there (idea of casting Mamie) on her own. Yeah, she gave me the script but I thought she was just giving it to me, wanting my opinion about this next thing that she was going to do. I was like, “Okay, I will read it. Leave it on the stairs.” She was like, “No, I think that you should really read it right now.”

The movie is a bit like one area of your life. You went through a separation from your husband (actor Benjamin Walker). How supportive was your family during that period?

I had a wonderful network of friends and my family. They were a great help to me during that time. They were my immediate and first phone calls. They came right away. I can say really safely now that I am very grateful that it happened when it did. At the time it was a painful thing. I think anyone who has a big wedding and commits doesn’t anticipate that it’s going to fall apart. But it did and as a result, I have grown up in this accelerated way the last couple of years.

Pain, in a way, is the greatest and gravest equalizer. Once I have experienced that, I can relate to people in a way that I don’t think I could have before. I was young, naïve and kind of righteous. Now, I am less judgmental of people. I am more curious as to why someone might make that decision rather than think, it’s the wrong decision to make.

A donut and a makeover get your character on the road to recovery. For you, what gets you up when you are down?

A donut and a makeover are pretty solid ways to start any day. There’s a great disparity between Julie’s depth of despair and anything that I have experienced. If I stay at home in bed for a day because I am blue, I feel that’s enough to make me go stir-crazy and need to get out of the house.

Luckily for me, I have a great family and wonderful friends who wouldn’t let me stay on the couch for too long, I think. So I have been able to pick myself up and then get on with it.

What are the songs that define your life?

Music is huge to me, especially songwriting. If I wasn’t an actress, I would be a poet. I prize great lyricism. It has changed over the years—I was a big fan of Lilith Fair, Sarah McLachlan and Ani DiFranco. When I was melancholy, I would put on a sad song and indulge in that. Now, I have grown so much older and wiser. I have figured out that if you are feeling crappy, you should probably put on some hip-hop (laughs).

Both you and Gracie are into acting. Nobody is following your dad as a sculptor?

Louisa is working in marketing and doing very well. My dad’s profession is a very solitary one. If anything, my brother (Henry) is doing something closest to that. He spends a lot of time alone, writing music and recording. He’s got this little shed in the back of his house that he goes to every day which is similar to what my dad does in the studio.

I have always been more of a social person. I like people. So that suits me. But in terms of my dad’s influence, he has a big heart. He’s the worst actor that I know. He’s incapable of lying. That has maybe kept us all very honest.

Can you talk about working with another fine actress, Audra McDonald?

Oh my God, I love that woman. She is astonishing. The first time I saw her was at the Kennedy Center. She performed in the tribute to Barbara Cook, in the year that my mom was honored. I could not believe the sound that came out of this human being.

I don’t know if you saw the “Porgy and Bess” that she did. She is just a colossal talent and similar to my mom. She is the furthest thing from a diva. She is the most down-to-earth and awesome lady.

(E-mail the columnist at rvnepales_5585@yahoo.com. Follow him at https://twitter.com/nepalesruben.)