For a number of days last month, I wondered why I kept thinking of my departed friend, Behn Cervantes. Events involving him kept flashing in my mind’s eye, until I got really perplexed and intrigued, and called up our mutual friend, Lollie Mara.
Was our friend “up there” trying to tell me something? “Well,” Lollie mused significantly, “it could be because the first anniversary of his death is coming up soon!”
That really floored me. I thought Behn had left us just months ago, and now Lollie was telling me that a full year had elapsed! Time does fly—but the loving and idiosyncratically colorful memories linger on!
CERVANTES. Special toast—to life, love and laughter!
In any case, I told Lollie, if it is indeed Behn’s anniversary, we should do something to highlight it! Even a simple dinner out with other members of Behn’s barkada would do, so we could trade anecdotes about our irascible friend who, in many funny and moving ways, had made such a big difference in our individual and collective lives. Lollie fervently agreed and efficiently contacted our other group-mates.
So, on the appointed evening some weeks ago, we were happy to break bread and share reminiscences with Lollie, Lorna Kapunan, Au Cobarrubias, Rito Asilo and Norma Japitana.
Absolutely no tears were shed (Behn would have snittily disapproved!), but the entire evening was full of loving and grateful memories—and lots of raucous laughter. —Now, that would have warmed the cockles of Behn’s—heart!
Wonderful friends
“Original” Behn “groupies” like Lollie and Au recalled that it was “our” Behn who generously went out of his way to introduce us to his other wonderful friends, like Haydee Yorac, Gloria Diaz, Nelia Sancho, Bibeth Orteza, Freddie Guerrero—and Lorna K herself!
We will forever be grateful to him for expanding our “friendly” universe in this wonderful way, and made a special point that night to thank him for the great favor.
Aside from that, Behn figured in our lives in other memorably valued and idiosyncratic ways, because that’s the way he was—never stinting or taking half-measures, always up to the hilt with enthusiasm and commitment, ready to impale himself on his saracen sword to support and defend us!
He was full of loud complaints about the many things he didn’t find right or agree with, but he also knew how to have a great night out painting the town in Technicolor and Day-Glo hues, laughing all the way!
And yet, he was also honest and humble enough to admit his emotional and psychological limitations, and cry out for our help and love whenever he couldn’t take it anymore.
His biggest challenges weren’t his medical crises, but the times he felt betrayed and abandoned, and asked us to come to his house, hold him tight, and help him heal.
It was this combination of and contrast between his signature high-flying confidence and panache and his private pain and sorrow that drew us most closely to his heart of hearts—we needed each other.
Behn is no longer with us to keep our group together, but he’s definitely “still around”—so, that “memorial” night we met again in his honor, we raised our wine glasses and cheered him with a special toast—to life, to love—and laughter!