Closeted hunk loses lover to flamboyant gay

Closeted Hunk thought his good looks were enough to secure Macho Lover’s devotion. CH was shocked to discover that ML had been cheating on him, with a Flamboyant Gay who was not exactly nice-looking! CH was perplexed.

Well, FG may not be a looker, but he can be quite generous. Moreover, next to him, FG makes ML feel like the most gorgeous guy in a room.

Truth be told, ML got tired of competing with CH, who could be neurotic about his appearance. The laws of Physics had the final word: Two narcissists will repel one another.

Insatiable

Successful Gay met his match in Dreamy Hunk. SG dumped Longtime Lover and shacked up with DH, who turned out to be a dynamo where it counts. After several months of bliss, SG grew weary of the marathon bedroom mazurkas and had to wave the white flag.

SG realized that there was “more to love than making love,” as the song goes. He wanted someone to talk to as well. Unfortunately, DH is not much of a conversationalist, with a limited vocabulary of monosyllabic groans and grunts.

Awkward moment

Some people might have noticed that Dashing Cutie seemed a bit distracted at a recent event. Was it because the proceedings were helmed by Gay Insider?

It was awkward for those in the know. When DC was a naïve newbie, he fell for GI’s false promises.

Alas, DC didn’t need to hit the casting couch because he was actually talented. True enough, DC managed to achieve fame and fortune away from GI, who still takes pride in being DC’s first “benefactor.”

Bermuda triangle

Seasoned Gay was smitten with Hunky Actor, who turned out to be a two-timer.

Rich and haughty SG went ballistic when he caught HA with Struggling Newcomer. HA and SN met while doing a minor,

unheralded project.

SG made HA choose between him and SN.

Unable to give up a life of luxury, HA picked SG. Unsatisfied, SG spread the nasty gossip that SN had infected HA with a contagious disease.

SN has since quit the biz.

Basket case

From the Inquirer tabloid Bandera:

Obviously, Perky Starlet is still carrying a torch for Cute Beau, who had the good sense to scamper away.

Nutty PS wants CB back. And how does she intend to accomplish her goal? By flirting with other guys!

PS plans to make CB so jealous that he will have no other choice but to reconcile with her.

So Charming Heartthrob is just a pawn in PS’ game? He seems to be a willing victim.

Macho Matsunaga

DANIEL Matsunaga is into outdoor sports.

Daniel Matsunaga, big winner in “Pinoy Big Brother,” obviously likes to sweat a lot.

“I work out two to three hours a day,” Matsunaga says. “I do challenging exercises to avoid monotony. I am into sports, too. I play football, go wakeboarding and try all sorts of outdoor sports. You can’t stay in the gym all the time.”

Even though he is always busy with show biz commitments, he finds time to exercise. “I do push-ups on the set. In PBB, even if we were always tired because of all the tasks, I still worked out.”

Hunky Daniel was chosen recently as the latest endorser of San Marino Tuna Flakes—with two variants (in oil and hot and spicy).

“After exercising, I eat tuna. Our body needs protein,” he says. “I weigh 85 kilos, so I need around 165 grams of protein per day.”

Top of the Talk Shows

For those who missed last weekend’s TV gabfests (and why we are moved, if we are moved):

• Cherry Pie Picache, asked if she could forgive the man who killed her mother: “’Di ganun kadali… Maybe in God’s time.” (Can’t rush it, absolutely. )

• Heart Evangelista, asked how she and fiancé Sen. Chiz Escudero celebrated the latter’s birthday: “As usual, sa labas kami ng garahe niya—may tent, konting pagkain, toys… Natulog na kami mga 4 a.m.” (Uh, toys?)

• Heart on her mom Cecile getting involved in the preparations: “She was offering to find shoes for me in the (United) States. Ma-pride ang mom ko so big deal ’yun para sa ’kin.” (Things are looking up!)

• Charice on her recent Instagram post, saying she wasn’t sure if her countrymen appreciate her: “Wala naman po akong tampo; I was just being truthful.” (You’re appreciated by people who recognize talent. That’s all you need.)
  

  CHARICE was merely being honest about her feelings. ARNOLD ALMACEN

• John Prats, asked if he and fiancée Isabel Oli are planning their wedding: “We’re getting there, paunti-unti… Gusto namin church and garden.” (Take your time… it’s your big day.)

• Alex Gonzaga on critics doubting that she’s the author of her recently released book: “We’re in a democratic country. If they don’t like the book or they don’t believe that I’m the author, they don’t have to buy it.” (Okay.)

• Matteo Guidicelli on girlfriend Sarah Geronimo’s mom, Divine, being overprotective of her daughter: “Huwag na tayong mag-comment diyan. A mom will always be a mom… Everyone has their own style of protecting his or her child.” (No comment.)

• Matteo on Mommy Divine allegedly prohibiting him and Sarah from going to each other’s dressing room: “If I go to her dressing room, I don’t think there’s anything bad about that.” (Astig! Or asar?)

• John Lloyd Cruz, asked about the secret of being a good actor: “Walang sikreto… Ito lang alam ko at meron ako.” (He felt alluded to!)

• Amy Perez, who’s tying the knot with her longtime partner Carlo Castillo soon: “Alam naman ng lahat kung ano ang pinagdaanan ko. This is a new journey for me. After 15 years, eto na ’yung hinihintay ko. Akala ko 60 na ’ko ikakasal!” (Congratulations.)
  

  GRETCHEN Barretto calls out a costar on his past.

• Richard Gomez on daughter Juliana turning into a young lady: “She’s very young. She’s
• only 14 so sabi ko mas maganda to focus on studies, school.” (Let’s not jump the gun, dad.)

• Gretchen Barretto to Richard: “Eh bakit ikaw naman nu’ng bata ka pa, nilalandi mo ‘yung mga 14-year-old?!” (Ayan. Kasi naman. )

(Startalk, The Buzz)