Claudine prays for the storm to pass

“ALL OF my emotional scars tell their own stories. I have gone through the worst, and I survived.” MARIANNE BERMUDEZ

Name it, Claudine Barretto has been through it. She’s a true survivor of life and love’s many battles.

Amid all the controversies she’s embroiled in, she tries to find beauty in the ruins.  Claud has been toughened by trials but her heart remains soft.

Let’s get up close and personal with Claud to know her a little more. Time to scratch the surface and find the secrets beneath.

Special thanks to her lawyer, my good friend Ferdie Topacio, for facilitating this interview. Claud is in good hands with Ferdie.

Are you more sad than hurt or more hurt than sad by what’s happening to your family?

Actually, I am both sad and hurt because members of my family have decided to take sides on this issue. I have always valued my family above all else in life. Not being able to be with my brothers and sisters—and, worse, having them against me—makes me sad because most of us grew up so close.

When your kids are old enough, what will you advise them about love and marriage?

My advice would be simple: Don’t rush. While you must always decide with your heart, you must never ignore what your mind is telling you. And, of course, always seek the counsel of your parents, your peers, and our Father in heaven.

Amid all the controversies, what keeps you going?

First of all, my kids. I have to be strong for them, to fight for their rights and to secure their future. I also have my faith to turn to, and being a Christian who follows the Bible, I draw strength from the story of Job, who weathered the storms of life to reach better days. And there are, of course, my fans, who never believed the lies about me and who continue to stand by me.

What do you pray for these days?

My prayers are always for the enlightenment of all those who said painful things against me, that they may see the truth; and, of course, long life, the best of health, peace and blessings for those I love, especially my parents and my children.

If you can turn back the hands of time, what would you do differently?

I probably would have been more careful in my personal decisions. I would have applied the lesson that it is never wise to decide when you are hurt, confused or suffering from emotional turmoil.

What shocked you most about (estranged husband) Raymart (Santiago) after your separation?

That he could say those nasty things about me in public and make those allegations, without considering that my kids, their friends and classmates and their parents, would be hearing or watching.

What misconceptions about you do you want to correct?

One thing I would like people to know is that I am not the unfit mother they try to picture me. The reality is that my children are thriving under my care. Sabina, my older child, is a straight A student; Santino has an average of 94.7. They are healthy, happy and well-adjusted in spite of everything. I also try to be involved in all their school work and I participate in the activities of their schools and the parents’ associations.

If and when you go back to TV, what kind of show would you want to have?

It would have to be a show that would teach viewers positive things: How to handle problems, how to learn good lessons from the things that life throws your way, how to emerge from life’s trials a stronger and better person and, most importantly, how one should never hesitate to fight for one’s rights as a woman and a mother, no matter the costs. As an actor, I could draw from the experiences I have undergone to make that show both entertaining and enlightening.

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you remember (sisters) Gretchen and Marjorie (Barretto)?

No comment.

Any regrets or is it all lessons learned?

I wouldn’t say regrets. Perhaps a better word would be “insight” of which I gained so much these past few months, which taught me to say “next time” instead of “if only.” And it has taught me also the meaning of the phrase “never again.”

What do you tell yourself when you wake up every morning?

I tell myself “it’s another day and another step towards a better future.”

What’s the best part of being Claudine  Barretto?

I would say my resilience. In my 34 years, I have experienced things that would take a lifetime to happen to many people. Some of these experiences are sad, some happy, others terrifying.

Modesty aside, I have reached a certain degree of success as an actor and I have also experienced defeat in my personal life. But I am still here, the same Claudine Margaret Barretto that started out as a 13-year-old in “Ang TV,” still believing in the innate goodness of people, the kindness of strangers and the beauty of life—stronger and wiser.

What’s the toughest part of being Claudine Barretto?

Keeping up with the image that the media, the fans and people in general, have of me. While I have played many roles, the underlying character of most of my characters has been that of a headstrong, determined woman under a veneer of fragility and vulnerability who perfectly handles any situation. But in real life, of course, I am far from perfect; I have made mistakes and I cannot always be the kind of idealized person I  play in my movies.

What’s your message to your detractors?

That I hope what happened to me will not happen to them and what have been said about me will not be said about them.

What’s your state of mind right now?

I  still feel bad when I think about the things that happened during the past few months, but I believe I have learned to adjust and just be philosophical about things, knowing that these too shall pass and, as they say, after the rain comes sunshine.

What do you want to tell your future self?

I want to tell my future self that all of these emotional scars that I bear now tell their own stories. I want to tell myself in the future that I have gone through the worst and I survived.

How strong have you become with all the controversies?

It is true that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I have become so much better equipped to handle the slings and arrows of life, so much so that I am no longer afraid of anything that life may bring, knowing I can take it all.

If you can ask God one question, what will it be?

I would like to ask Him, “God, how much longer?” While I would never question His wisdom, I would like to hope and pray that this would all be over soon.