Glamorous beauty a hopeless hoarder

FEARLESS Maricel Soriano has earned costar’s approval.

Who knew that Glamorous Celebrity was an incorrigible hoarder? Armchair shrinks would say she’s making up for whatever is lacking in her life by going on incessant shopping sprees. As in!

GC experienced untold traumas from over-bearing relatives as a kid, a mole told Rushes.

Domestic instability is the reason that GC finds comfort in the ringing of the cash register.

Alas, the countless wounds are deep.

Now rich and infamous, GC rather mindlessly stocks up on grocery goods. The perishable items often go to waste. The help can only sigh as they commit expensive but expired gourmet chow to the trash bin.

ALJUR Abrenica reveals secret to a lasting relationship.

Loose lips

Studio rumor has it that Ambitious Personality tipped off Embattled Figure about an impending news event.

AP learned about the event from Influential Insider, who is more than just AP’s “partner in crime.”

So why did AP leak the info to EF? Is it to ensure future scoops? Or is it to protect II, who could get dragged into the messy affair? The plot thickens.

High-tech hunk

Has-been Hunk hit hard times. He couldn’t pay the rent and was thrown out by the landlord one night.

HH trolled cyberspace in search of prospective clients who might open their doors (and wallets) to him.

He has always relied on the kindness of strangers. And now he’s a certified Internet Lothario.

GRETCHEN Barretto takes the Santiago family’s side.

Frog nanny

Heard on the Radyo Inquirer program “Kliq Showbiz” (dzIQ 990 AM, Monday to Friday, 3 to 5 p.m.).

Controversial Star owns an assortment of frog figures, considered good luck charms.

The collection is so extensive that CS had to hire a maid, whose sole duty is to dust the figurines every day. Every now and then, she is also supposed to “bathe” the frogs.

Once, the nanny forgot! To avoid a brutal tongue-lashing—CS can be bitterly cruel when agitated— the poor help quit.

Drag & delete

Picked up from the Inquirer tabloid Bandera.

Hunky Actor is notorious for exhibitionistic tendencies. He enjoys posting scantily clad “selfies” online.

Turned out, HA has the dirty habit of recording his “sexcapades,” and used to have more revealing images saved in his laptop. But the sex-video scandals currently afflicting show biz spooked HA, who hurriedly deleted the offensive files.

RYZZA Mae Dizon’s song fails to impress screen partner Bimby Yap. The Ryzza Mae Show facebook photo

Is it because the videos featured gay benefactors? Then again, the tech-savvy can recover trashed material— if sufficiently motivated.

Laguna visit

After mall and festival shows in Rizal, Batangas, Cavite, Davao, and Cagayan de Oro, the cast of ABS-CBN’s family drama “Annaliza” will visit SM City Sta. Rosa in Laguna today at 4 p.m.

Fans will get to see the show’s actors Denise Laurel, Carlo Aquino and Kaye Abad, and teleserye princess Andrea Brillantes perform musical numbers live. Admission is free.

Top of the Bandera

The top show biz news in the Inquirer tabloid Bandera (and why we are moved, if we are moved.)

Tom Rodriguez: Handa na akong makipaghalikan kay Dennis pero baka harangin ng MTRCB! (Kami kaya, ready na?)

Iwa Moto umuwi ng Pinas, ayaw nang manganak sa Japan. (Be careful with… that precious package!)

CAST of “Annaliza,” led by Andrea Brillantes (center, front), to visit fans in Sta. Rosa, Laguna today

Minsan nang kinaladkad palabas ng van kaya puro pasa, Claudine Barretto tiniis ang pananakit ni Raymart Santiago para lang sa mga anak. (Parang teleserye.)

Handa nang pasabugin ang hawak na “bomba” laban sa asawa; Raymart sa magulang ni Claudine: Alam n’yo ang totoo; tulungan n’yo ang anak n’yo! (Parang mystery thriller.)

Pinuri-puri ang pamilya Santiago, mabubuting tao raw; pang-aasar kay Claudine: Gretchen Barretto nagpakuha talaga ng litrato kasama si Randy Santiago. (Photo op!)

Gretchen “inabuso” ng pamilya sa loob ng napakaraming taon; Marjorie: Wala akong utang kay Claudine! (Kami rin! Leave us out of this!)

Baguhang aktor sa GMA 7 gamit na gamit si Daniel Padilla, “patay” ka sa fans! (Careful.)

Kris Bernal biglang lumobo ang boobs. (At kamukha na siya ni Heart Evangelista!)

Regine Velasquez: Isang himala ang paggaling ni Mang Gerry! Salamat po sa Diyos! (May himala!)

Naggagamitan lang, peke ang pagmamahal sa isa’t isa; relasyong Cristine Reyes-Derek Ramsay hindi raw magtatagal, mamalasin din. (Negatron!)

“Hoyyyy, Cristine at Derek sino bang niloloko n’yo, ang madlang pipol?” (Kasali kami?)

Rayver Cruz natuyot matapos pagsawaan ng ex-GF. (Tubig!)

Cristine nakaligtas sa karma, mas masuwerte pa rin kay Ara Mina. (Actually, nobody escapes karmic punishment—or reward, for that matter.)

Kahit 65 years old na at 27 lang ang lalake, Tiya Pusit pumayag nang pakasal sa bagets at guwapong boyfriend. (Tulad nga nito.)

Matindi pa rin ba ang selos hanggang ngayon? Kristine Hermosa hindi pinayagan ni Oyo Sotto na gumawa ng serye kasama si Jericho Rosales. (Ang ganda kasi ni Kristine.)

Xian Lim masyadong malambot, Gerald Anderson tigasin. (What are we talking about, exactly?)

Lovi Poe: Sakit lang sa ulo ang mga lalakeng ’yan (referring to Jake Cuenca)! Ayoko na! (Sige, ’teh, kami rin!)

Ritz Azul mas sikat na kay Eula Caballero, gustong piratahin ng ibang network. (Owsss?)

Apl.de.Ap mas type magdyowa ng Pinay, itutuloy ang panliligaw kay KC Concepcion. (Silence of the lambs kami d’yan.)

Kim Chiu iniwasan ang pelikula ni Gerald, mas pinili ang “The Conjuring.” (Naku, Kim, ang ganda kaya ng “On the Job.”)

Diana Zubiri “nanganganib,” kailangang mag-ingat sa fans ni Gerald. (Which means she’s good!)

Mas maraming kakampi ang ex-GF ni Gerald kaya sinuswerte; Maja sinisingil na sa mga kasalanan kay Kim, minamalas ang career. (Pero BF niya si Gerald, hello!)

Aljur Abrenica (on his relationship with Kylie Padilla): Kailangan hindi n’yo napapabayaan ang isa’t isa! (Sigh.)

Nagkita na ang bagong  love team; Bimby sa inihandog na kanta ni Ryzza Mae: “Mama, I don’t like it!” (Sabi nga ni Mama, “Bongga… ang saya!”)

Kris ililibre si Ryzza Mae Dizon sa USA Disneyland, pero sa isang kundisyon… (Afraid.)

Dahil sa pagbuga ng juice sa mukha ni Ryzza; Bossing tinawag na bastos, walang respeto sa bata; pero ipinagtanggol ng Dabarkads. (We’re with MTRCB chair Toto V on this.)

Aling Maliit lumaki sa kape, wala kasing pambili noon ng gatas. (Harsh.)

Sa Singapore raw nakabuo, habang nasa taping ng “Kris TV”; Melai Cantiveros 2 buwan buntis, tatay na si Jason Francisco? (While taping?!)

Sheena Halili palaging naiiyak ‘pag napag-uusapan si Rocco Nacino. (Uh, tell her about the “pork” scam—mas nakakaiyak ’yun.)

Guwapo pero baklang modelo type lamasin si Dennis Trillo. (Takbo, Dennis, takbo!)

Awang-awa sa girlfriend, binabastos na ang pagkababae; Luis Manzano on Jennylyn Mercado:  ’Di siya mukhang pera, responsable po siyang nanay! (It must be love.)

Sa kabila ng mga iskandalong pinagdaanan, Eugene Domingo kay Maricel Soriano: Bilib ako sa babaeng ’yan, sobrang tapang. (And this must be…?)

Ai-Ai de las Alas naiyak nang sumuko at makulong si Janet Napoles. (Kami rin— sa tuwa.)