Teacher, teach thyself

JULIA Allisons of “Miss Advised”

A reality show that’s attracted unusual attention on the tube due to its ironic twist is “Miss Advised” (Tuesdays on the ETC channel). It’s about three supposed “experts” when it comes to male-female relationships and the dating “game”—who unfortunately don’t follow their own advice in their personal lives!

As a result, their relationships often end up on a dead-end street, in the process negatively affecting their professional reputation as “experts.”

If they can’t find happiness in their own romantic relationships, how can they hope to help others solve their own love problems?

One of the dating experts has her own radio show, where she discusses all sorts of “love and lust” concerns, and unflinchingly uses her own intimate experiences as examples.

Naturally, most guys feel uncomfortable about dating her—because they don’t want to end up as gossip fodder on her show!

For her part, Amy is a matchmaker who efficiently finds compatible partners for her clients—but turns out to be too guileless and gullible to keep herself from falling for the wrong men!

Since she’s no spring chicken, her biological clock is click-click-clicking away, so her desperation is mounting to fever pitch!

Practice is supposed to make perfect, but Amy may be confusing theory with gambits that really work, so she’s often left holding the bag.

Finally, Julia writes a column about dating, but her dates are often able to spin tall stories and talk circles around her. They string her along until they get what they want from her, then summarily drop her like a hot potato.  Is this any way for a love “expert” to behave?

Viewers’ hearts go out to the three hapless women, but they find it the height of irony that not all of their book knowledge has enabled them to find love and happiness in the real world—where it counts!

That ironic twist, we intuit, is the reason why some viewers find “Miss Advised” a habituating viewing experience: Some of them keep watching in the hope that at least one of the three putative experts will finally be able to get her act together and settle down with a good man!

On the other hand, more cynical viewers keep watching to see how many more mistakes and wrong choices the women will make before the series finally comes to its contentious conclusion.

Still, we hope that some viewers will be able to empathetically benefit from the three women’s experiences—by learning what not to do in their own romantic relationships.

Some of those lessons could be: Don’t get swept away by guys’ practiced romantic lines and smooth moves. If a date sweet-talks you and does everything to sweep you off your feet, the resulting pratfall could really hurt!

In addition, do try to act your age. Don’t behave like a giddy teenager even if you’re already well into your 30s, because you’ll only end up embarrassing yourself—and Botox doesn’t take care of everything!

It would also help if you didn’t set the bar too high, like the lady who’s come up with around 70 “qualifications” that a man has to live up to in order for him to pass muster as her life partner!

Live in the real world, why don’t you? You’re not that perfect a catch yourself. And, if all else fails, get a cat!