A grin of salt, ‘localike’ and other boob-tube booboos
By Nestor U. TorrePhilippine Daily Inquirer
THANKS to all of our readers who said they enjoyed our “harvest” of Boob-Tube Booboos last month. One good turn deserves another, so here’s a fresh batch of (unintended) risible moments on TV to brighten your day:
Host: Why did you put up this new resort?
Guest: It has an environmental touch to it, because we put it up especially for nature lovebirds!
(Tweet, tweet!)
* * *
Host: How did you take the bad reactions to your last show?
Guest: Well, you cannot please everybody! I just took it all with a grin of salt!
(—We guess you would describe that as—a salty smile!)
* * *
Host: Tell us about your new facial product.
Guest: It’s specially configurated for middle-aged women, to keep them smooth and young at heart!
(Wow, configurated!)
* * *
Host: Why are there so many earthquakes these days?
Guest: It must be the change in the world due to global warning!
(—We’re warning you, one more crack like that, and—!)
* * *
Host: I hear you had many jobs before you became successful as an actor?
Guest: Oh yes, I had to.
Host: Can you tell us some of them?
Guest: Well, I started out as a taxi waiter.
(At the same time? —That’s what we call multitasking!)
* * *
Host: Your skin is so smooth and beautiful now—but, I hear it was not always that way?
Guest: Oh, yes, it was terrible—when I was a teenager, I suffered from a lot of pinfalls!
(Did you work in a bowling alley? —Oh, pimples!)
***
Host: If your acting career makes you a star by next year, how will you spend your earnings?
Guests: Definitely, for my family. I’m the family bedwinner!
(—Not the family bedwetter?)
* * *
Host: What would you be doing now, if you were not an actor?
Guest: Itutuloy ko ang pagiging nursing ko, para makatulong pa rin sa aking mga magulang.
(Good luck!)
* * *
Host: I hear, in the province, you are known as an impersonator of Manny Pacquiao?
Guest: Yes, I am known as one of the localike of Manny.
(Lookalike? “Localike?” Cute!)
* * *
Host: After the successful operation of your friend, what was your group’s reaction?
Guest: We all had a sign of relief!
(Ah, come again?)
* * *
Host: To whom do you dedicate your new album?
Guest: I would like to lovingly dedicate it to all my friends and quaintances!
(How—quaint!)
* * *
Host: What is the advantage of having a home business?
Guest: At home, you can save on rental cost of your office—at hindi mo na kailangang mag-traffic!
(Do tell!)
* * *
Host: The weather forecast today is rainy—so, bring an umbrella!
Cohost: Yes, pag rainy, mahirap sa mga bus at FX na walang payong!
(Oo nga, baka mabasa ang mga sasakyan, kawawa naman!)
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