Celebs recall coping with their first heartbreak
(First of two parts)
“Do you remember your first heartbreak?”
The question elicited either a chuckle—or a chuckle followed by a sigh—from the celebrities the Inquirer interviewed for this Valentine’s forum. Not a few of them looked back at their experience with amusement—embarrassment, almost. Some did so begrudgingly. And others jokingly retorted that they would rather just forget about it.
But just the same, they all moved on. So, what’s the best way to heal a broken heart? Solo travel? Drowning one’s self in work or alcohol?
The truth is, there’s really no surefire way to ease the pain, they said.
I was a freshman. My girlfriend of two months broke up with me on Valentine’s Day! We were supposed to celebrate our “monthsary,” then the unexpected happened—I didn’t even see it coming. I was 14, and it was the first time I got drunk … I had tequila!
But later on in life, I realized that alcohol doesn’t really help, because it just messes you up even more. When you wake up the next day, the problem is still there. And it might even drive you to do things you shouldn’t.
The best way to cope with a heartbreak is to feel the pain and realize what happened. Keep yourself busy, stay with your friends and move on. And as an artist, I channel that energy into a lot of the songs I’ve written about heartbreak.
There was this girl I used to text a lot; we even went out on a few dates. But one day, she “ghosted” me—she stopped replying to any of my messages without any explanation. It was like one day we were going well, then all of a sudden, she distanced herself from me without even telling me why.
But, that was years ago. I was way younger. I used to get easily disheartened back then. Perhaps what happened then was due to me not courting the girl well enough; maybe I could have done better and fought harder.
Looking back, I’m happy it didn’t work out, because I found someone else after. And more importantly, I grew from that experience.
On my very first trip to the Philippines, I fell in love for the first time with a girl I met at school. I was 14 years old and was in high school; she was six years older. She loved to talk; I loved to listen. I picked up poetry because I was so in love with her.
But I had to go back to Hawaii, where I was living then. There was no internet or texting. So, I wrote three to five letters a day, and then had to wait for a response. But she did write back. She didn’t lead me on or made it appear that we had a relationship. And that was the heartbreaking part —the love just wasn’t the same, it was one-sided.
She made me read a book titled “Jonathan Livingston Seagull,” which helped me love myself. She taught me to love myself first before loving someone else. Because of that, I became a believer, someone who wanted to become a better person. I really owe her a lot.
And I think that heartbreak was one of the reasons I became a balladeer.
Wala na ’yun, na-amnesia na ako, eh! Nakalimutan ko na (laughs)!
Of course, the first relationship will always be the hardest. Coping with it and moving on happens in time—let time take its course and let go. There’s no right or wrong way. It also helps a lot if you’re busy. Otherwise, you’ll be preoccupied with your situation. So, go work out, travel and try to do something new.
You have to feel the pain. I always do. I wallow in it. I grieve.
It took quite some time for me to get back up again after [my first] heartbreak, but I did. I managed to move on.
I was about 15. And the girl I was with broke up with me on the phone. Yeah, I believe she gave me a letter. We weren’t even able to go out then, because it was a secret! I dealt with it by … moping (laughs)! Then, you find someone else to crush on and eventually forget about your ex.
It was puppy love, but it still hurt! Ang hirap, parang nagunaw ang mundo ko! Looking back, it’s embarrassing and funny at the same time. But we all go through that stage.
I had not started writing songs then, but I think that’s a nice way to nurse a broken heart. Composers are some of the most passionate people about love, especially when they get rejected. My song “Mahal Kita Walang Iba” was inspired by another ex, actually.
My first heartbreak was way back in high school. Pero kurot lang ’yun!
The worst heartbreak was the most recent one. It didn’t just happen once, but a couple of times with the same person. I realized that clichés are clichés for a reason. Because they’re true, and it hurts (laughs)!
You have to be productive. Turn that broken heart into a piece of art. Acting, I must say, is easier when you’re going through pain—effortless!
You should acknowledge the situation—that your heart is broken into pieces, and you’re at your lowest. That’s when you take your first step toward moving on. Once you’ve done that, you will slowly realize that there are many reasons for you to continue with life.
Second, you have to keep yourself busy—never stay at home and cry. Maybe you can, for the first two nights. Have a bottle of wine ready, have breakup songs playing in the background, and cry your heart out. After that, OK na.
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