Midwides, lately 20s and other boob-tube booboos
ILLUSTRATION BY NASTASHA VERAYO
HOST: WHY are you such a big fan of (name of star)?
Guest: Kasi, ang giling-giling niya talaga!
(Wow, we know what you mean!)
* * *
Host: When did you first realize that you wanted to make movies not just as a hobby, but as your major focus?
Guest: I started late—I was already in my lately 20s.
(Hmm, that’s very late!)
* * *
Host: What do you miss most about your children, who are based abroad?
Guest: Everything! I really regret, kids are growing up slow fast!
(Slow, fast—ano ba talaga, kuya?)
* * *
Host: What is your hospital looking for in terms of added personnel?
Guest: Everything. —Doctors, nurses, midwides—we need them all.
(Midwides? Thin ones can’t apply?)
* * *
Host: Why don’t you trust (notorious colleague)?
Guest: He’s too temperamental—he’s a happy trigger.
(Don’t you mean—trigger-happy?)
* * *
Host: What are the latest developments in your controversial case?
Guest: I’m happy to say that, at long last, the clouds are being separated from the smoke!
(Can you run that by us again—slowly?)
* * *
Host: What do you keep reminding yourself every day?
Guest: That you have to be very careful all the time— even when just crossing the street, you could die!
(Wow, when you put it that way—!)
* * *
Host: With all of the material blessings you have, what’s really important to you?
Guest: Oh, definitely not money—the more important for me is piece of mine!
(Whose piece of which mine—?)
* * *
Host: How can others succeed like you in beauty and fashion?
Guest: Above all, they have to be—fashionate!
(That’s so clever of you!)
* * *
Host: What makes your clientele unique?
Guest: I’m proud to say that my clients are especially income!
(They’re that well-off, huh?)
* * *
Host: How is teaching with the help of computer better than the traditional method?
Guest: Oh, definitely, much faster ang absurd!
(—Ay, absurd.)
* * *
Host: Why do you have a spa in your resort, like the ones in Bali?
Guest: The concept and idea is to give a deep relaxation, aside from the beauty and serene the place.
(—Ano daw?!)
