Nikki opens up after breakup
NIKKI Valdez
Actress Nikki Valdez, who broke up with her husband in 2009, admitted breaking into tears when she finally got her divorce papers early this year.
“I loved and cared for him. We were together for seven years … I still feel bad,” she told Inquirer Entertainment.
Nikki and Filipino-Canadian Christopher Lina dated for five years before getting married in a civil ceremony in Canada in February 2007. They had a Church wedding five months later in Manila, but settled in Toronto thereafter.
She’s working on filing for an annulment of their Church wedding. They have a 3-year-old daughter named Olivia.
Nikki said she found it difficult to tell Olivia about the breakup. “When we went to Canada in July to celebrate her birthday, she noticed that we just stayed in a hotel. She asked where her Papa was.”
The dilemma is aggravated by the thought that Olivia will soon be going to school. “She will see her classmates with their moms and dads and she will ask more questions. Marami pa kaming pagdadaanan [We will still go through a lot of things],” Nikki said.
As to why her marriage collapsed, Nikki said, “It was about many issues that were left unsettled. It snowballed, got so big that it cracked … I guess I also had my own shortcomings.”
Marriage ‘restrained’ her
However, she added that the marriage “restrained” her. “It came to a point when my personal growth was stunted because of it. I left my life here to start a new one with him, but things didn’t turn out the way I expected it.”
She said she kept quiet about the separation for a long time to protect her child. “It was hard for me because I wasn’t being truthful. My close friends knew about what happened, but they respected my decision not to talk about it publicly until there was finality.”
Nikki said she had to wait for the right time because she “had to settle some issues first. [Christopher and I] didn’t speak to each other for almost a year. Finally last year, we got to talk when he came to Manila.” She said she now felt “relieved and at peace.”
Coping with the breakup became easier, she said, because she and Christopher were miles apart. “We live in different time zones. We both have our jobs to keep us preoccupied. Ever since I went back to Manila, I never stopped working.”
Nikki is in the cast of the Wenn Deramas comedy “Unkabogable Praybeyt Benjamin,” which opens in local theaters on October 26. The film, starring comedian Vice Ganda, is a coproduction of Star Cinema and Viva Films.
Looking back, Nikki said that getting married and moving to Canada had their benefits. “The experience made me more mature and independent. It humbled me. ’Yon ang lagi kong babalikan [That’s what I always go back to],” she said. “I told myself that had I stayed on in Canada, maybe we could still be together as a family. But I only have one life to live, if I didn’t do it, it would have been my biggest regret.”
Then again, Nikki pointed out that she’s still unsure if she could be friends with her ex. “Not at this point,” she stressed. “What’s important is that we’re talking. I can’t even say we’re civil. It’s more like we don’t have a choice but to deal with each other because we have a child.”
The relationship, she said, traumatized her. At 32, she’s uncertain whether she could love again. “I’m just not so trusting anymore,” she related.
The best thing about the whole experience, Nikki said, was having Olivia. “We do a lot of things together. I bring her wherever I go, including the grocery store.”
She gets to spend time for herself at the nail spa or by doing Bikram yoga. She is also very hands-on with her organic products business called Oryspa.
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